Maternal Instincts Run Strong
by Stormydee
Summary: Her first vacation in years is interupted by two small children in need of a home and protection from the people a child should always be able to trust. Olivia will do what ever it takes and lay her own life open in court to show this child what love is.
1. Chapter 1

She staggered through the door of her apartment, dragging the grocery bags with her. The next step was to find out if there had been anything left in her fridge to rot; she was pretty good about keeping it empty. This was the first time in a very long time that she remembered going out to get food that she might actually get to eat; not clean out of the fridge in a couple months.

It was also her first real vacation in years. She had the time on the books and it was time. Olivia had worked the special victims unit for just under thirteen years. She took time off when forced, sick or undercover; but things had changed.

The department was changing and she was slipping away from it; work just wasn't the same. A new partner and another rookie new and green; both at least ten years younger than her. Munch and Fin worked together, chatting with them in the squad room; not trying to work with them.

Watching the two rookies together was a silent reminder that her partner the one she knew had her back was gone. There were times she didn't blame him, was happy for him but she missed him. The rookies were meant to be a team when she left, she knew it; they knew it. It was part of the reason that prompted her to take some of the time she racked up over the years and get some focus on her life.

Spend some time relaxing, living and doing things for herself. The job was someone else's problem for the next two weeks minimum. Olivia put her groceries away and fished out the book she had picked up before settling on the couch to read.

She wasn't one chapter in when her phone rang, glancing at the ID she groaned; she'd been on vacation officially three hours. " Benson."

" Olivia I'm sorry, can I put you on the phone with somebody; its a kid. Munch and Fin are on their way out to the place now but it may take some time; we need to keep her talking." She could hear the stress in her Captian's voice.

" Rollins can't handle it?" She didn't want to be difficult but this was part of the reason she never had any time off; the concept of saying no had never truly sunk into her brain.

" No she cant, she doesn't have the experience talking to kids you do. Please Olivia, keep the little girl on the line till Munch and Fin talk themselves into that house. We are walking into a special division of hell in this one."

" Put her through, I'll talk to her." She wanted to growl at herself but she'd rather spend the time on her couch talking to the kid rather than feeling guilty for refusing it later. She heard the phone click, static and then a new line engaged. " Hi my name is Olivia, what's your name?"

" Julia." A soft voice replied from the other end, she flashed back almost five years earlier, the little voice had a heavy accent and was just as terrified; a new Maria.

" Hi Julia, where are you?" She kept her voice warm and gentle.

" In my room, with Maggie."

" Who's Maggie?" Almost dreading the answer.

" My baby sister." She heard soft sniffling. What ever kind of people raised these kids were definitely nailed on neglect; leave a baby with her kid sister.

" Where are your parent's Julia?"

" I don't know, they don't come see me very often; they take Maggie now." More sniffling. " She's cuter."

" I doubt that, I bet your pretty cute. How old are you sweetie?" She wasn't going to fight for a location, Cragen seemed to think Munch and Fin knew where they were going.

" I'm five, but I'll be six real soon." Olivia smiled at the pride in the little girl's voice.

The conversation meandered for almost an hour, Olivia fought to find topics to keep the child interested in talking to her. Slowly she knew the girl was beginning to trust her, asking when they were coming to get her and where she would go; if she could stay with her sister.

Suddenly there was crashing and squealing on the other end. Olivia tensed instinctively, speaking softly into the phone. " Julia?"

" Its alright Olivia, we got em." Fin's voice came on the line before it was cut off.

With a sigh she put the phone down and stood, moving around her apartment. She felt restless, being at arms length from a kid after talking to her for so long was miserable. Olivia wanted answers and yet a part of her was glad not to be there. Changing into sweats she slipped through the door and went for a run.

She took a new route, it was almost dusk and she didn't want to go through the park. The cop part of her brain told her to stick to the lit trails. Skirting the park she followed the lit path around it, running until she was exhausted; finally rounding back to her street.

There was a nice ache in her body as she slipped through her home, dead bolting the door and heading for a hot shower. The wonderful thought of unplugging her alarm clock forefront in her mind. There would be no wake up call in the morning or midnight call out; two weeks of normal life.

She stepped under the hot water thinking about it. Living a normal life, being able to build a normal routine based around her home and some of her own priorities. It could be nice, at least for a while; but then she knew she would miss the job. But there were days when she knew it would be easy to follow Elliot into the private sector.

Stepping out of the shower she donned her tank and shorts heading towards her bed. It felt wonderful to curl into her nest. Olivia felt herself settle immediately, there was wonderful peace in owning her time for a while. She fell asleep planning her week.

A banging on her door dragged her from her sleep several hours later; she wanted to scream. For once it wasn't her phone or her alarm; she would put money on it being a coworker. The knock was typical of a cop, taught in the academy and annoying as hell; no one slept through it.

Making it to the peep hole she glanced through, narrowing it down to three people; Fin, Munch or Cragen. She sighed pulling the door open for her Captain, not the first on her list. His face showed his exhaustion, as did it show on his companions.

" Olivia I need a huge favour." She nodded, wishing she'd grabbed a sweater, pulling the door back. Cragen entered first followed by a little girl carrying a baby and keeping just a step a head of an older woman. She watched feeling half asleep and dazed.

Closing the door behind the little group she grabbed her sweater from where she'd thrown it earlier. Turning she faced her boss and the strangers in her home, just before midnight. Olivia waited for someone to start explaining, watching the woman begin to examine her home.

" Olivia, we've had a slight issue. We need to place the girls for the night, together and some where they will be comfortable. I thought of you." Cragen explained, gesturing to the little girl holding the baby.

The kids were in hospital pjs, the girl was scrawny and grubby. Olivia just stared, she heard what was implied; her brain just wasn't ready to comprehend it. Her brain was still struggling when the other woman broke in. " Olivia, do you mind if I look around?"

" Go ahead, I'm really not set up for kids." Almost relieved when the woman moved off to snoop; her attention focused on Don Cragen. " I'm not approved as a foster parent."

He stepped closer, his voice low. " I know, you didn't see those kids at the hospital though. The second they were separated they both started screaming. Separating them will only traumatize them more."

" But there are protocols. I can't just keep them, I mean not legally; eventually they have to go into the foster system if their parents aren't fit." She just stared at her Captain who was already shaking his head.

" This is different Olivia, they will make an exception. I gave her your jacket."

" Its all the background we could ask for. I've read it over and inspected your place. It is not perfect but we do not want to further traumatize the girls. If you can keep them together I feel your home is suitable for the time being.

I've known Don for years and trust his judgement as well as my own. My bosses have approved the situation; this one is very unique. If you are uncomfortable with it then please say?" The woman reappeared, coming from the bed room.

Olivia shook her head silently, more than slightly stunned. "No, its fine but my home isn't really set up for kids."

" I understand I really wouldn't expect it to be. Don lined up a play pen for the baby and the girl is old enough to sleep in a bed. I will be doing twenty four hour checks; expect to see me at least once a day. As a case is built more firmly I'll have more answers; we play this by ear." The social worker never even gave her name, she looked exhausted.

Olivia nodded silently, Cragen slipped away. She turned her attention to the little girl standing in exactly the same spot she had since arriving. " Hi are you Julia?"

She earned a nod. " I'm Olivia, we talked earlier today. Would you like to stay with me for a while?"

Another nod, Olivia felt a little reassured; and overwhelmed.

" I'll get you to sign here and then I'll let you settle in for the night. I need to work with Don on a few things; I want to get back into that house tonight." The case worker handed her a form, Olivia skimmed them quickly and signed.

She handed them back as Don reappeared with a folded up play pen, he leaned it against the couch. She waited, wondering if they were going to tell her anything else. They didn't simply turning and walking to the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia froze, feeling stunned and helpless for a moment. Glancing down the little girl was looking up at her with big blue eyes, clinging to her sister. She had a play pen now, she had nothing else what so ever for these kids; they didn't even have proper clothes.

Pulling herself together she knelt beside the little girl. " I know it's been a long day Julia but I need to go to the store and get a few things, will you come with me?"

The child nodded at her silently and she mimicked her. " Okay, I'm going to get changed and then we will go"

Another nod, Olivia stood and slipped into her bedroom, her mind finally waking up; she started to react. The bodega two blocks down that she usually frequented wouldn't have the things she needed. There was a super centre store three blocks the other way that might; that would be a long walk for her little companion; cold too.

Changing into the clothes she had worn to work she pulled her hair back in a messy bun and fumbled for her wallet. Opening her bedroom door she grabbed her favourite sweater.

" Okay Julia we will try and make this quick and then we can go to bed." She smiled at the child who simply nodded again.

Wrapping the child in the sweater she scooped her up, a tiny arm wrapped around her neck. She checked to see that the baby was warm and safe; one little arm still held the child to her. Olivia grabbed her keys and locked the door.

Heading into the street she forced herself to be alert, this was to late to be out with little kids; she needed to make good time. Relieved when the lights of the sign glowed on the upcoming block she adjusted the still silent child on her hip.

For the first time she could remember she grabbed a cart as she entered the store, she hardly ever shopped here. Lifting Julia off her hip she tried to direct the child's feet into the seat on the front; it was harder than it looked. The little girl clung to her neck and when her feet slid through Olivia was dragged down with her.

" Its okay Julia." She soothed the little girl, prying open the little hand that had locked onto the side of her throat.

Terrified eyes stared back at her, she raised her hand to touch the child's cheek; she recoiled as if Olivia made to burn her. Julia's eyes flickered nervously and then she buried her face in the baby against her shoulder.

Surprised Olivia let her hand drop, pushing the cart towards the baby area. Her mind forming a mental list of things necessary for a baby and little girl. Julia was old enough for school, at least kindergarten, but she wasn't sure the girl attended. Either way she needed some clothes, a coat, and maybe a doll to play with.

As the cart rolled Olivia watched the little girl start to look around, she turned the cart into the kids section. She looked at the little girl's clothes hanging on racks, she was not sure what size she was. Yet the girl was small, she grabbed a little t shirt and compared it to her.

" Julia could you pull this on over your shirt, I want to see if it fits. I can hold Maggie?" She lay the shirt over the cart and held out her hands for the baby.

" No, I keep Maggie, she is my baby." Arms wrapped tighter around the baby until she whimpered.

" Okay." Reaching around she glanced at the size of pj shirt, it was a little big; the shirt was one size smaller. It would do.

She grabbed two more shirts and a pair of jeans, sweats and leggings; she wasn't sure how long the girl would stay with her. Still as she put the clothes in the cart Julia watched curiously, pushing the cart on to the pjs. " Will you pick a pair of pyjamas?"

The child looked up at her again with those eyes, making Olivia want to kill the person that had made them look so haunted. Still after a moment a hand shot out towards the purple pattern with flowers, sorting through them she found a pair the same size as the other clothes she picked.

Rounding the corner she grabbed a pack of undies, under shirts and some pairs of socks. Then headed towards the baby section, Julia seemed to perk; there was another mother in the isle. The tiny girl stared at the baby in the cart as they passed by; a little boy who looked to be almost a year.

She picked out bottles, formula, mushed food, a pacifier and then she was stumped. " Julia how old is Maggie?"

Tiny shoulders shrugged and Olivia nodded; this was going to be interesting. Eyeing the baby she picked a couple sets of tiny clothes, sleepers and diapers that looked about right; hoping she might be right.

She pushed the cart on as Julia yawned, squeezing Maggie; earning another little whimper out of the baby. " We will go home very soon Julia; I just need to get some bath stuff."

" I don't want to go home." A tiny voice replied.

" You don't want to stay with me?"

" Can Maggie stay at your home too?" The child's grip on the baby must not of released because she started to cry; Julia immediately began to soothe her sister.

" You both are going to stay with me for a little while. That's why we need to get you some clothes and bath stuff." Olivia reached out to touch the child again with out thinking; the child shrunk away a little.

Ending up in the bath section she got baby shampoo, rinse, diaper cream and powder. Doubling back she got Maggie some tearless shampoo and a tooth brush and some kind of barbie tooth paste.

"There I think we are done for tonight. We will get this stuff and go home okay?"

Julia nodded and Olivia headed up to the cash, coaxing the cashier into putting it all into two big bags. Juggling Julia and Maggie back onto her hip with the bags in her other hand she headed back onto the street. It was hard to keep the kids balanced but she did not intend to put the kid on the ground to walk; her mind was awake and overworking its self.

Still she was relieved to get back into the safety of her own building; yet she had never struggled so much with the stairs before. Unlocking the door she dropped the bags on the floor and set Julia down; the child watching her silently as she slid the dead bolt into place.

" Okay, lets see about getting you two into bed." Rummaging through the bags she found pyjamas and sleepers.

Guiding the girls into her bedroom she set Julia on the bed with the baby; who she had yet to get a good look at. Returning to the living room she brought the play pen into the room. Olivia had never set one up but quickly found it was not as simple as one would think; she was more than frustrated by the time the thing was standing.

Turning back to the little girl she bit back a gasp; Julia had finally lay Maggie down and taken off her shirt to change into her pyjamas. Hearing her the little girl turned to look, she tried to control her face; mind racing.

The kids had been to the hospital, they should have been examined and documented; she understood why the child had been removed. Yet she didn't want to put the child to bed like that; she needed to be bathed. She also knew the little girl was tired.

" Julia, I have a bath tub. Would you like to take a bubble bath?" She rounded the bed, kneeling in front of the girl she was slightly more prepared for the marks.

" Whats that?" Came a shy reply, the little girl clutched the purple shirt as if expecting it to be pulled away.

" How about I show you. You can take one in the tub and I'll give Maggie one too. Just let me get some stuff." She stood and went back to the living room, fighting for her composure.

Grabbing the bath and hygiene stuff she slipped through the bedroom to the en suite bathroom. She had loved the tub when she first moved in but it had been months since she used it. Julia had Maggie and followed her like tiny shadow.

Running the water warm she hunted for the soothing bubble bath she remembered receiving as a Christmas gift; she had wanted to use it but never got the chance. Hopefully it wouldn't sting the cuts on the girl's back.

Adding several cap fulls, a little more than she would for herself Olivia was pleased to see a thick creamy white foam begin to froth over the water; a delicious scent filled the room.

" Okay sweetie come here, give me Maggie and you can get in the water." She reached out a hand for the little girl.

Julia came forward shyly, looking at the tub with open curiosity; Olivia wondered if the tub would be tempting enough to separate her from her baby. Clean pyjamas had apparently been enough and the bath was exciting a baby was offered to Olivia and the little girl reached down for a handful of bubbles.

" You get in and play for a bit while I give Maggie a bath then we are going to scrub you up." She cradled the baby to her chest, amazed by the weight of the girl; she was hardly anything.

Julia watched her carefully as the hospital clothes once again began to come off. There was no animosity in the girls eyes but it still seemed as if she was waiting to be hurt. Once the girl was again preoccupied with the bubbles she slipped back to the bedroom and grabbed the new clothes for the both of them as well as a diaper.

Filling the sink with warm water she stripped Maggie down, wincing as she caught sight of a horrible diaper rash. The baby was squirmy but didn't cry until she was lowered into the water; Julia splashed suddenly.

It took her a moment of convincing and rather wet pants to get the kids into their respective baths; Maggie didn't react to the water the second time. Using a little bit of shampoo she washed the fine blonde hair capping the little head and then used a wash cloth to clean the baby; it appeared that her older sister suffered the most.

Still by the time she picked the child up, effectively soaking her top as she cradled the tiny human into a towel the child almost seemed sad to leave the water; she didn't cry much. Powder, diaper cream, diaper and clean sleeper the baby smelled fresh better and seemed ready to sleep.

She lay her in the play pen and watched the little girl look up at her with the same big blue eyes as her sister; just a little more innocent. She made the same whimpers she made when she was squeezed or moved; a few silent tears slipped out.

Backing away Olivia returned to the bathroom and the bigger child. Julia eyed her from a neck high tub of bubbles as she returned. Laying a dry towel on the floor and another for later she knelt and dipped a washcloth in the soapy water.

" I put Maggie to bed. Can I wash your back Julia?"

The little girl nodded, Olivia gently ran the cloth over her back, cringing at how the little girl's ribs felt so prominent as well as the rough scars that should not mar a child. Rinsing the cloth she offered it to the girl who took the hint.

Next she offered the shampoo and a little palm extended; Olivia helped her rub it through her hair, reaching up she grabbed the shower head. " Close your eyes sweetie."

The stream of water earned a little squeak from the child but the soap rinsed away and Olivia had earned herself a smile. Opening the towel she held out her arms to the little girl, and was encouraged that she only hesitated a second before wet arms closed around her neck.

Wrapping the girl in the towel she stood up, grabbed the pyjamas and her own hair brush; changing her mind once again. Setting the girl on her bed she let the girl get into her clean clothes before pulling her into her lap. Olivia worked the brush through wet hair until the knots were gone and it formed a loose braid.

" There you're all set for bed, I'm going to get my night clothes and then I'll turn out the light okay. If you need me I'll be in the next room." She scooped up the wet towel and cleaned up the bathroom, changed back into her own night clothes and turned the light out in the room; preparing for a night on the couch.

Her head finally hit the pillow and she was ready to be dead to the world for at least a few hours; but her mind wasn't. Somehow she had gone from single and on vacation to sharing her home to two very small girls who clearly didn't know what love was. Olivia wasn't sure if she was ready for it or not, but Julia's eyes bothered her; they had seen to much.

She saw the marks, old and new on the child's body but knew they were bad but so were those of many kids; she had seen her share of sad abuse cases. She wanted to know what warranted these girls the right to stay together in the home of a cop rather than a foster arrangement.

Had it been John at her door she would have a few different thoughts; she knew his painful past. But even Cragen had seemed bothered and over eager that she take them.


	3. Chapter 3

Partway through the night she woke with a start; a baby was screaming. Olivia stared at the ceiling in confusion for a milasecond before realization hit her and she rolled off the couch. There was a baby in her house who was more than likely hungry; she probably should have given her a bottle before putting her to bed.

Stumbling into her bedroom she could make out the shadows in the dark; Julia was beside the playpen. Moving towards it her foot caught in something and she did a face plant. The air forced from her lungs she realized her foot was caught in the comforter from her bed; which was no longer on the bed.

" She'll stop in a bit. I think her tummy hurts again." Julia turned to look at her, arms still hanging in the playpen.

" No hunny I'll make her a bottle; she probably needs to be changed too. You go back to bed." Pulling herself to her feet she scooped the baby from the play pen, Julia's arms following just a little short. " Go back the bed Julia, I promise I'll put her back to bed after I make her a snack."

Hoping she wasn't being to firm with the girl she bit back the bile in her throat; the thought of leaving the screaming child to cry herself hoarse made her sick. Making comforting noises to the baby she flipped on the living room light and fumbled for the formula and bottles. Wishing she had thought to make up one or two before laying down; it would save her the two am fight.

Balancing the still tearful baby and the jar of formula was not easy. Rinsing the bottle before filling it she scooped in the required powder and added enough hot water to turn it to goo before filling it the rest of the way with cool water; she knew it was cheating but it worked passably.

Screwing the cap on she was momentarily pleased with her one handed success. Shaking it she headed for the couch. Arranging the baby in her arms Olivia offered the bottle; the child latched on eagerly. Blue eyes closed contentedly as the baby sucked greedily, Olivia was again struck by the size of the little girl; who could let a little girl cry through the night.

Her eyes wanted to drift shut as the child drank but she kept them open and the baby downed the bottle with decent speed. There was a sludge in the bottom of the bottle but the little girl seemed more content, putting the child to her shoulder she vowed to make the formula properly in the morning; chucking the bottle in the direction of the sink.

Patting Maggie's back she heard the cute little burp as she headed back to the bedroom. Now with a crack of light in the room she got a better idea of why she had done the face plant on her earlier trip. Stepping around Julia bundled in the comforter, little head on her arm she set Maggie in the playpen; the baby looked at her with big blue eyes that looked more content in her opinion.

Olivia turned to deal with the child on her floor. Scooping up the comforter and girl her back protested as she deposited the bundle on the bed. An entirely different pair of blue eyes flew open to meet hers; these were filled with terror.

" I sorry." The little girl whispered, squirming to get back; Olivia still had an arm behind her and didn't let her get far.

" You have nothing to be sorry for but good little girls sleep in the bed." She answered trying to use a firm voice, unnerved by how automatically the child reacted expecting to have been in the wrong.

" I don't wanna take your bed." The little girl was frozen, the terror not gone from her eyes.

" You aren't taking my bed, I wanted you to sleep in it. When I come in the morning I want you to be right here; no more sleeping on the floor. I promise Maggie will be fine in her playpen, you can play with her tomorrow. You sleep in the bed till I come get you in the morning okay?"

She got a eager nod, releasing the girl she reached up and grabbed a pillow and stuffed it under the girl's head before returning to the living room. Grudgingly she fished her phone from where it had been tossed earlier and set an alarm for sixthirty, put it on vibrate and stuffed it under her pillow. One good thing a bout being on shift work for so long was that anything after five thirty was sleeping in; not as much as she had hoped but something.

Her head the pillow and she remembered nothing else until her pillow started vibrating. Switching off the alarm she crept to the bedroom door and peaked in, there was a ball of comforter on her bed with a small foot protruding from one end and no movement in the playpen; soft snores her ears barely caught reassured her. Leaving the door open only a crack she turned on the light and fired up the coffee maker; thankful she had gotten groceries and specifically coffee.

She turned her attention to the formula and bottle that had thankfully landed on the counter next to the sink. Filling it with water she left it in the sink getting the last of the things from the bags on the floor. She laid the clothes over the couch back and stacked the baby food jars on the counter.

Glancing at the receipt a part of her felt proud. She had spent her entire life working, married to the job letting it pull her away from sleep, special events and the money she made. Her savings were not in the least affected by the money spent on the little girls; someone needed to show them a little love. Crumpling it up she tossed it with the empty bags in the garbage.

She filled the kettle with water and set it to boil before measuring out the formula into the two clean bottles and then opened the box of pablum and measured a small amount into a measuring cup to make the pablum. Opening her fridge she grabbed her loaf of bread, jam and the jug of orange juice; a decent breakfast for a five year old.

The light on the kettle lit and she unplugged it before it began to squeal, filling the bottles and cup she set it back on the counter. Bottles went in the fridge and pablum got mixed. She was relieved to see her coffee beginning to drip; time to get the kids.

Choosing and outfit for each she slipped into the bedroom, going to her closet first, making and effort to be quiet she grabbed some sweats and thew them over her shoulder. Julia was still sound asleep so she picked up Maggie, cradling her to the opposite shoulder before the girl made a sound.

Making soft shushing noises in the baby's ear she shut them in the bathroom. Changing the diaper, applying ample rash cream she hoped there would be a difference by the time she put her to bed, if she got to do that; she dressed the little girl. Smiling at how cute she was in the pink outfit with the words 'I'm a cutie' embroidered on the front; she lay the little girl on a towel and dressed for the day.

Pulling hair into a pony tail she almost felt ready to face the day. She washed her face and sighed, the bags under her eyes were evident as were the lines time was etching into her face. Something cold closed around her own heart as she looked down at an old photo on her counter; she was beginning to look like her own mother.

Shaking it off she looked down at the baby by her feet and was surprised to find that she had rolled over. Head up and neck craned the little girl was looking at her; her heart melted. Lifting the girl up cooed to her softly. " Its time to go get you sister up."

Crossing to the bed she lay down next to the bundle of comforter, Julia had cocooned herself entirely with the exception of one foot. Olivia set Maggie next to her and the tiny child offered a cross between a squeak and a gurgle. Julia sat straight up; she was touched by how attentive the little girl was to her sister's voice.

" Its okay Julia, Maggie and I just thought it was time for you to get up. We have some clean clothes for you and we thought you might be hungry." Olivia smiled as the little girl snapped up her sister, it was a reflexive movement; as if trying to envelope the baby in her own body to protect the little one.

The little girl looked around blearily for a moment and then relaxed ever so slightly. Olivia felt the attention fix on her. " C'mon honey, I left your clothes in the bathroom. You go put them on and leave your pyjamas on the floor then bring me the brush from the counter. I'll hold Maggie."

She was fixed with the blue eyed examination for a moment longer before Maggie was handed over. Julia disappeared into the bathroom and Olivia set Maggie on the floor while she remade the bed and moved the play pen over right beside it. Surveying the room she felt it was decently clean, her home would probably be inspected again today, and scooped up the baby.

Fishing in her jewellery box she found a coloured elastic, it wasn't fancy but it wasn't her traditional black either; the pale green was a little more suited for a little girl. The bathroom door opened and Olivia went back to the bed, setting Maggie in the middle she beckoned Julia into her lap.

Gently she untangled the mishap of a braid she had attempted last night and brushed the blond locks into a ponytail. Tying it securely she gave Julia a gentle push; all that was needed to send her to grab her sister.

In the bathroom she picked up the mess from last night and folded Julia's night clothes and set them on the shelf then threw the hospital ones in her laundry hamper; neither child would wear them again while she had them.

Back to the bedroom she felt that her house would stand a chance at being presentable she found the kids sitting in the middle of the bed. " Ready for breakfast?"

Her chest tightened when Julia's eyes widened and she nodded eagerly. Tilting her head she opened the door and watched to see that the little girl padded after her. Her next problem had presented its self, she had nothing for Julia to sit in to be able to sit up to her breakfast bar that doubled as the kitchen table.

With a sigh she lifted the girl onto the counter and put bread down to toast, taking the moment to glance around her living room. Maybe the coffee table would work better.

Fishing in her cupboard she found a old plastic cup and plate. She filled it half way with orange juice and then covered two pieces of toast with lots of strawberry jam; on an after thought she trimmed the crusts off.

Putting some toast down for herself she set Julia on the floor and lead the way to the living room table. Setting the plate and cup on it she grabbed a cushion from the end of the couch and set it beside the edge; it made a decent table for the kid.

" Is it okay if I hold Maggie?" Olivia held out her hands for the baby, the little girl's eyes were on the toast.

Maggie was in her arms a moment later, Olivia went back and got the little cup of pablum, and put a little bit of jam on her own toast. Returning to the couch she sat on the end of the couch and sat Maggie up against her body, one hand firmly on her tummy to keep her from tipping forward.

Offering her a little spoonful of the baby cereal she realized another thing the kid needed; a spoon more suited to the size of her little mouth. She fed the baby the cereal between bites of her toast; Maggie wasn't the least bit concerned that they took turns getting food.

Taking the dishes back to the sink she poured herself a cup of coffee and stuffed the food back in the fridge. Then she went back to the couch and stretched her legs out, cuddling Maggie while Julia nibbled her breakfast; one slice of toast was gone and the girl didn't look to be considering leaving the rest.

" What do you want to do today Julia? We can't go to far until we have a visitor but we should find something to keep ourselves busy." She wished she had some kids toys or anything in her place. They needed to stay put until the social worker visited but then she might have an answer to how long the kids would be with her; not that it really mattered she fully intended to spend a little money on the girl who expected grown ups to hurt her.

She heard a mumbled response, but couldn't quite make it up; it took a little prompting to get it repeated loud enough. " Can I give Maggie a bubble bath?"

Olivia laughed, patting a spot on her knees to the girl who had downed her breakfast. " You both can take bubble baths. Is that fair?"

The little girl nodded, stepping around the table, moving towards the empty spot; Olivia reached for her. She saw the hesitation in the child's eyes but Julia didn't pull away. Lifting her up she settled the little girl on her knees.

Julia reached to play with her sister but she didn't try to pull her away; just occupied little hands. Olivia watched the girls silently, even though the marks on the little girl's body were covered she couldn't shake the memory. This wasn't a case, she wasn't working and these kids were in her home; it was different.

Slowly her legs went numb but she didn't move. Julia had curled around Maggie and both had fallen asleep; it had been to late last night. Still she was touched that the girl felt safe enough to sleep. Olivia knew she wasn't trusted entirely by the child yet but then someone had permanently marked her little body.

Still when someone knocked on the door Maggie was pulled into Julia's body as the girl struggled to sit up. Olivia guarded against them doing a face plant but once they were off her legs she struggled to make her limbs cooperate.

Opening the door the woman from last night was back; without her boss as an escort. Stepping back into the room Olivia tried to give her a warm smile; it didn't look like she had slept.

" Good morning, Olivia." The voice still sounded tired, as they stepped back into the apartment.

Olivia dropped onto one end of the couch and the girls had migrated to the other end; the social worker took the chair. Julia was still trying to make Maggie disappear into her body. " Hi Julia, how are you feeling today?"

The look the woman earned was unnerving; the child did not trust the new person. The social worker did not seem phased by this, and simply redirected. " Olivia would you be able to take them to the hospital? We need to do some more documentation if they are feeling a little more cooperative. We weren't able to separate them very well last night. It's good to see them in clean clothes by the way"

" Sure but I assumed they wouldn't leave the hospital until they had been processed? I gave them both baths last night." She winced internally, she wasn't even sure of the woman's name.

" That's no problem, we have the place they were living in. Its more evidence of abuse, scars, x-rays; mainly for Julia. They got checked out last night but both screamed once they were separated; the documentation was to invasive." The social worker explained.

" Why was SVU involved?" Her curiosity was up, procedure was being neglected at every point.

" This has been a touchy case from the start, it isn't easy investigating a family in certain circles. We received some concern from friends but always met a professional couple and were told the children were with the nanny; and rather coolly put off.

No one had ever seen marks on the kids, we saw the girls at an event, trying to check up on then; that was when my suspicions were raised. But there was nothing visible for us to investigate further." Olivia knew her question had been ducked immediately; what else was new. The squad owed her some answers; they would likely have more information anyways.

"I'll take the girls over and take care of it. I take it they won't be going back to their parents home. Is there a time that we could discuss the situation?" Olivia let it slide, it might be better to talk about it without the kids listening.

"Sure, just give me a call later." A card was offered, Olivia finally had a name; the social worker was named Jane Ryans.

Another tour of her home and a couple more attempts to get Julia to talk and Jane left.


	4. Chapter 4

They made the trip to the hospital and the little girl began to cling to her leg as they walked through the doors. Reception directed them through to the pediatrics floor where they were put in a waiting room; Julia's face was pressed into the back of her knees as she spoke with the nurse.

She held Maggie and coaxed the girl into a chair, she stood beside her keeping her baby sister close to focus the girl. Olivia wanted to growl as they waited, Julia was nervous and she was trying to play with Maggie but her fear was evident; she was beginning to wish she brought her badge.

Finally a young nurse entered with a cart, the woman tried to give the little girl a encouraging smile but Julia shrunk back. " Hi my name is Leane, are you Julia?"

The girl was reverting to her silent coping mechanisms, a nod in response. The nurse put on gloves and set up the table. " Can you climb up here for me?"

The little girl obeyed still without a word, but Olivia was fixed with the haunting blue stare as the child tried to ease away from the nurse's hands. She knew the child was asking for help, pulling the chair over she sat beside the exam table; balancing Maggie in her lap.

" Julia, Leane is only trying to help you. We want the people who hurt you to go to jail and never be able to touch you again. No little girl should have the scars you do. I promise I'm going to stay right here, I really want to say its not going to hurt but I can't be sure. If it does you can squeeze my hand really hard. Okay?" She felt a bond with the little girl, they had bridged a gap in the night and Olivia wanted with everything she had to take her place.

" Okay." The softest whisper came from the little girl who reached out to touch her baby sister again.

The nurse gave them both a reassuring smile and coaxed Julia into a tiny hospital gown that was still multiple sizes to big. Julia recoiled every time the woman's hand brushed her skin; the little girl didn't trust the new person.

" Okay, how about I make you a deal? If I do it to you, I do it to Olivia first? I promise nothing I need to do today will hurt. We are going to take some special pictures." The nurse encouraged the little girl.

Olivia raised her eyebrows silently but didn't argue.

Julia looked to her silently and nodded, a tiny hand snaked out for her own. The nurse nodded and picked up a camera and little ruler thing; she had seen them a thousand times. The woman gestured to her neck, she brushed her hair over her shoulder; it was a small old scar.

" See the line, I'm just going to set this against it, so that we have a size comparison. It doesn't hurt at all." The woman snapped a picture and took it away. " Think that'd be okay?"

The little girl nodded, allowing herself to be turned around. Olivia watched as the scars on Julia's back were documented, she swallowed hard as she recognized a couple of the weapons marks. There were bruises at different stages of healing, someone had beat the kid with a belt.

When the nurse took down the front of the gown the little girl balked but eventually relented. She didn't blink but she wanted to look away, silently Olivia held Julia's hand.

That done the nurse set the camera down, and picked up a new tool. Olivia watched this too, she recognized it but didn't see it used as often. The camera picked up marks that didn't surface in bruises but remained under the surface for hours to days.

Again it was pointed first to her and a photo of her chest was snapped to prove it safe, then used on Julia; the child had resigned herself to it. After that it was x-rays and Julia just eyed her silently as she was taken away, Olivia stayed as close as she could.

When it was finally over she handed Maggie to Julia for a tight hug and then scooped both up and left the hospital behind. Hiking to the subway she boarded the train and headed for the precinct. The girls could sit at her desk while she forced some answers out of her Captain.

She took a spot near the door and kept the girls between her body and the wall bracing her hip against the empty seat. Olivia was relieved to get off and walk up out of the subway and down the block to the precinct.

The place was so familiar she often referred to it as the house, just as many cops did; there was no intimidation factor to her. Yet to a little girl she could understand why it was scary, she reassured Julia softly; telling her it was just where she worked and there would be no more poking or prodding.

On the squad room floor she oriented the girls in the chair at her desk, the room was strangely empty. Pointing out a picture of herself and her mother then opening a drawer Julia had her badge and was holding it up for Maggie to see.

Promising to come right back she slipped into Cragen's office. Her boss was sitting at his desk, his attention on a form in front of him. " I need some answers and nobody is to keen on giving them. I spent a couple hours on the phone with her and now after spending the night with her I know her being that talkative is out of character.

When the baby woke up for a bottle last night she told me it was okay because she would stop eventually; she was just hungry. The five year old weighs about as much as my purse and is skin, bone and scars. Where the hell did you find them and who did that to them?"

Her anger boiled over as she approached the man who called her within the first hours of her time off and then dragged her out of bed hours later. She didn't mean it and she knew he was aware of that; his face said he felt for her. Her guilt hit her instantly, the man was practically the only father she had ever known; yet she needed to know.

" Julia and Maggie Dysvoln, daughters of Margaret and Dennis Dysvoln of Dysvoln Inc. They are rich, spoiled and influential, an old family in the city. They do as they please and they see their daughters as toys.

Rumor is they had a son first, a body was found earlier this week when the late Joan Dysvoln was laid to rest; it was in the family grave. About the size of a six year old, DNA was a match on the maternal side; partial match to an aunt in the system.

Child Protective Services already had a file started and when it came to our door they turned up immediately. Anyway we made a call to the home and through and got a housekeeper who redirected to the nanny. Long story short nanny is in a coma, Daddy has some bruised knuckles and that little girl got the phone and her sister and managed to get back into their room of horrors and were shut there.

Family did damage control and by the time we arrived there was no sign of the kids, nanny or housekeeper; we had to talk our way into an immaculate home. Our only probable cause was on the phone with you. The route to the room was in the master bedroom under the floorboards; it was a hell hole.

Anyway open threats have been made against the children's lives and the parents fully intend to regain custody by any means possible. They have been arraigned and have an appearance in family court, we are building the case against them for their son; Warner has ruled homicide. Kid was cut up something horrible.

I want them with you because you can keep them safe and I can put your life on trial and know the defense can throw all the stones they want; they won't get those kids back. Olivia keep your gun handy, these people have the money to hire multiple people to try and get them back." Cragen had rounded his desk and his voice was firm; a knot formed in the pit of her stomach.

" The second they get to my job they have a huge opening, not to mention how they were placed. Have you seen that child's body? I hope they come for the girl's themselves; I won't hesitate." She growled.

" Olivia your job wont be the issue anymore. You no longer work directly with our squad, your papers are in; I put you in for promotion. You are on the review team, you will still work with us and we will call you when we need you but you can work from home.

Go over the old cases, you are one of three detectives assigned. You'll work with a ADA and re-investigate cases up for appeal, with big holes and work through your assigned list. You wont be assigned any of your old cases, you will still work tours with us; two to five shifts a month.

Other than that you make a home office, keep a phone handy and read old notes, look for loop holes and hand out the leads that need to be closed. I know you, you want the truth and the fact you went for it on your own case helped the board make the decision that you can do this. I will still be your CO, this will still be your unit but you deserve this and you will be good at it.

I was going to give you your vacation and then let you know. But when they throw your job at you tell them, it is confirmed I will testify as will the chief of detectives. You are assigned to the case review board as of two days ago.

And Liv, if you have anyone in your home you don't want; you take your shot. Those kids are in protective custody; yours. I know you can handle yourself and those kids. Fight for them, they need somebody." Cragen reached into his stack of files and handed her one.

She flipped it open, it was her new orders, taking the page directed to her she handed the file back silently; stunned. " My custody, I will keep them the duration of the trial? They will be wards of the state?"

" Unquestionably, no one will let them go back to that house but that doesn't mean there wont be a fight. But everyone here wants this for you, even people you might not think of; keep your phone handy.

And Olivia they don't have your identity yet, so keep your guard but lay low; the media will be all over this."

She nodded, Olivia had all that she needed. " They're mine."

Forcing her composure a plan was forming in her mind. Folding the sheet up she stuffed it in her pocket to get the details later. Checking over her desk, her piece locked in the bottom drawer, she had a spare at home. Tucking her badge away she glanced at it; this had been her place for over thirteen years and it no longer was. It made sense, she was an extra and it was hard to partner with new people after Elliot; especially when they were so young.

The squad was changing, she wasn't going to fight her new role; not when it enabled her to give two precious children refuge. With her desk left as it was to be she scooped the girl's up again. " Are you ready for lunch?"

Eyes got big, and Julia nodded, one arm curling around Olivia's neck. It was comforting in a sense, the little girl expected to ride her hip and was content to be there. They left the precinct and headed down the street to McDonald's.

Julia was clearly overwhelmed by the menu so Olivia just got her a kids meal; maybe someday she would be ready to choose. It wasn't her favourite place but she got a greasy burger and ate it; Julia was thrilled and the toy was even more exciting.

When they finished eating they headed down to the store. Olivia was determined to make these kids her own. They got child sized dishes and kid friendly food. Then there was shoes and jackets, finally she took the girl's into the toy isle.

Maggie was easy, her sister offered a fluffy rabbit toy and the baby latched onto it. Julia took a little longer but Olivia was more than okay with it. The girl considered a doll but was clearly torn between it and a fluffy stuffed dog; she picked up both.

The haunted gaze never completely left the child's eyes but emotions showed clearly too. The child was ecstatic, Olivia had earned herself the most innocent and sincere hug she could ever remember. Holding the child against her she wanted to cry, this sweet little girl didn't expect much from people and she hated that.

They also picked up a game as well as a couple books. Julia shied away from making the choices so Olivia picked books she knew; they would have a few things to do at the apartment. When they were done they took the subway home. Olivia carried Maggie and Julia stood with her doll, one arm wrapped around her knee; she braced herself against the pole.

She watched the little girl watch people, eyes roved the people with them in the car. If anyone met her gaze the little girl hid her face in Olivia's knee, waited a moment and than checked them out again. An old woman smiled at her and Julia eased herself behind Olivia's leg a little.

She smiled and reached for the child's hand as their stop approached. Julia glued herself to Olivia's side as they made their way up to the street; still the little girl was looking around a little more. They got up to her building and Julia bounced up the stairs getting only one or two steps ahead of her.

Finally home Olivia helped Julia free her doll from the packaging, it came with a brush and some little outfits. The girl curled into the hole on the couch with the doll and her stuffy, cooing to her new friends quietly.

Smiling she opened a jar of baby food and fished a bottle from the fridge. Taking residence on the other end of the couch she fed Maggie her lunch, once the girl finished she burped her and cuddled her into her arms.

The baby settled for her nap and Olivia smiled, stroking the girl's downy head; she loved the baby's hair. Both girls had blond hair, Julia's was long and it hadn't been cut in a long time, it hung to her mid back. Maggie's was just starting to grow but it promised to be the same colour with a little wave to it. Holding the girl close she compared her tiny features to her sister's and memorized them both.

Julia played for a little while and then curled around her friends and fell asleep in her little nest. It had been a big day yesterday for the girls and they had not gotten enough sleep. Olivia finally felt herself relax a little bit.

She must have drifted off because it was her phone buzzing that woke her up, thankfully before it bothered either of the girls. Holding Maggie to her chest she scrambled to get it; hoping Julia would keep her eyes closed.

" Benson." She answered, keeping her voice soft. She slipped into the bedroom and eased Julia into the playpen; taking the phone into the office.

" Olivia, its Elizabeth Donelley. I had an interesting conversation this morning with a friend; he heard that you will be in family court. I snooped, a little surprised; you usually turn up in criminal court. I looked into the case, do you have any idea the mess you are getting into?" The woman's voice was hard even through the phone, Olivia didn't know her well but was fully aware that she was no one to be messed with.

" No, but I also don't really care. These kids need someone to show them some love and the little girl sleeping on my couch needs to know that not all grown ups will hurt her. She is practically a mother to her baby sister, so I'll do what it takes." She replied honestly but firmly; she wasn't about to try to read the other woman's motives.

" Good. My schedule is clear for the afternoon, I'll be at your place in twenty." The woman replied, Olivia felt her jaw drop.

" You have my address?" She was stunned and confused.

" I have everything on you that is public record or given up by your captain."


	5. Chapter 5

_So bear with me for the next two, then we get to something interesting. thanks for the feedback:) here is a double:)_

Olivia set the phone down, realizing that she had been hung up on. Something cold was burning in her stomach, she really had no idea what she was getting into. In twenty minutes someone who seemed to think she was in over her head would be in her home; she wasn't ready for this.

Still she had to do something, Olivia scooped up Julia; the child only struggled slightly. Blue eyes flew open and the fight went out of her, she got a slight smile and saw arms pull the stuffy closer. " Sweetie a friend of mine is going to be coming over, would you like to play in my room for a little while. If you want you can come out and say hi later okay?"

" I'll stay with Maggie." The little girl whispered quietly and stretched; her little body arching in Olivia's arms. Setting her on the bed she watched the girl crawl across the bed to peer down in the play pen.

Maggie was asleep and Julia burrowed into the bed with her toys, setting them on the pillow and playing her own little game; Olivia knew those toys wouldn't be leaving her sight any time soon. Olivia left the door open a crack, picking up the dishes from the baby's lunch she put them in the sink to soak, and dumped the pot of coffee she had forgot about. Her home would be inspected again, just not formally.

Waiting for a knock on her door Olivia was trying to silence her mind; she didn't need the time to think. She had checked the kids and they were both sleeping but it still was a while before the judge turned up and she had created all kinds of crazy scenarios that could make life difficult.

Opening the door she invited the judge in; her heart pounding. She didn't know Elizabeth Donnelly that well, she had testified in her court enough and knew that she was a mentor to both Alex and Casey. The woman could be intimidating but she was passionate about many things; she had spent over twenty years with the DA's office before the bench.

The woman entered, her bag was stuffed and looked heavy. She saw a glance go to the couch, it was different but it worked for her purposes; she hadn't even considered a booster seat when they were in the store.

" How has it been going so far?"

" Good, I'm gaining her trust but it will take time." She took the chair, Elizabeth took the couch, her bag in the spot where the cushion was missing.

" That's a step in the right direction but you are aware of the other child found?"

" Yes, they are assuming a brother?" Olivia confirmed.

" That's been confirmed. The problem is that those pervs have money and want their punching bags back. They are going to go after you in court, you will wish for a rape shield with what their defence is going to try to pull out of your past.

It will be their only chance to get those kids back is if they can find some great secret in your past, and if they cant they may try to create one. Trust me I know their attorney, he has been in my court a time or two and I couldn't get him gone fast enough; he will be brutal.

I respect what you've done, taking them in but where ever they are placed it is going to be a character battle to keep them out of there. Anyone knowing the abuse they've survived wouldn't put them back in that home but it will be blamed on the nanny; she can't defend herself.

I think those are their only two fights and I know which one will look better. I'm going to prosecute this one." The judge laid it out, her voice hard; Olivia guessed it was to control her anger.

" How can you?"

" Olivia I'm taking this case, I have friend's in the office still and no one is keen to take this one; I took vacation. The legalities of it is my buisness, right now I need to get into yours." The woman took out a folder and a notebook.

" Judge Donnelly I appreciate this but I know how to speak on the stand." She hesitated, she knew how to talk in court, she had been on the stand a thousand times.

" First its Liz or Elizabeth, I'm only judge when I'm on the bench. This is different Olivia. This isn't criminal court, that will come later once your squad builds the case. This is about custody, whether or not the girls should be wards of the state and where they should be placed.

These people have money and believe they are entitled. You are on trial, who you are, what you do and every bad choice you have made in your life. They don't care if it was when you were eight.

We will bring the abuse into it, but I am not putting my case on that. That is what every junior lawyer would use as their ace. I'm not going to, we wouldn't lose the case but it would be appealed; this they better not even try." The pen came out but the stern woman met her eyes; Olivia hesitated.

She wouldn't fight it, Alex and Casey both went to this woman when they needed ideas to help them win. Olivia was willing to trust her, not for herself or because it was going to be easy; but because the woman was a good lawyer and she would fight to protect Maggie and Julia. " What do you need to know?"

" Okay, I know this is hard, we've both prepped witnesses. Lets start with public record. We only have two days; sleaze trick one o one." Pen at the ready the woman finally glanced down.

Olivia hesitated, she glanced towards the bedroom, hoping the girls were still asleep. Taking a deep breath she began to recount some of her worst decisions. Things she really didn't want to air out in a court room, memories that still held a little part of her heart; brought pain. Yet every time she paused, feeling that she was done her mind flashed back to the scars on the little girl's back; those had hurt more.

Older memories actually made her feel tears well up, she refused to let them break. Once though Elizabeth Donnelly's eyes flew up to meet hers with an answer; little bits of information that few people knew of her but that kept her walking on in life.

Finally it was over and the judge stood, clearly a little thrown but made her excuses and left. She had the information she needed Olivia knew the woman was feeling a little overwhelmed; there was a reason she chose not to dig into her own past. She didn't get up to see the woman out she just watched her head to the door.

Olivia sat frozen for a long time, staring at her hands; there were things she didn't want to remember. Suddenly she thought of the girls, it had been a long time; they both had to be up. Glancing to the bedroom door she saw it was open a little more; Julia's face was framed in the gap.

Her heart jumped into her throat, she was wallowing in her own pain; she had to snap out of it. Forcing a smile she stood and headed toward the little girl. " Are you and Maggie up?"

She nodded and slipped back into the room, Olivia smiled and followed; the little girl stopped beside the playpen. Olivia was surprised to see Maggie was sitting up in the bottom; her tiny hands reached up as she gurgled.

" Well aren't you pleased with yourself." She cooed at the little girl, bending down to scoop her up. Pulling the baby up to her chest she gave the little girl a hug, this one was young enough not to remember the horrors her sister would; a small blessing.

Julia looked on silently, but she didn't seem interested in taking her sister; dog under one arm and doll hanging from the other hand. Olivia smiled and headed back into the living room, she set Maggie on the floor and Julia promptly sat down beside her and the baby rolled over; reaching for the fluffy dog. Julia let her have it before jumping off and scurrying to find the rabbit.

Olivia just grinned, Julia was such a good big sister; she had no doubt the little girl tried to protect her baby at every chance. Turning to the dishes in the sink she set about washing them up and making more formula; she needed to come up with something for supper too.

It was such a domesticated evening plan it struck her as odd; yet it was nice. She was looking forward to getting supper for her and Julia, feeding Maggie. Then it would be bubble baths and stories before bed, it felt natural and right.


	6. Chapter 6

It was later that evening, bubble baths were done and two tired little girls were curled up in the bed and playpen respectively; the older one clinging to her new toys. It had been a bit of a fight to get them left on the bed for the bath; the little girl wanted to protect them as much as her sister; Olivia wondered what she would do with a pet.

Still with both settled she had a few precious hours to herself and business to take care of. With the social worker's card in hand she settled on the couch, she dialled the number and waited for an answer.

" Hello Jane, child and family services." No doubt a answer as route as hers being her own last name; every job had its own.

" Hi, Jane its Olivia. I wanted to know what the formal steps are to be considered as a permanent foster parent for the girls."

" I think there are a group of us hoping you would say that. Its simple really, there is some paperwork, and a home study; conducted over a period of time and several visits. But you may want to settle for the arrangement you have now and consider adopting them.

They are young and with support and stability they will lead normal lives and not fall back into the cycle; the also wont likely be able to stay together in most other situations." The woman stifled a yawn, Olivia felt guilty it must have been a long day for her.

" After the trial?" She wasn't sure how that works.

" No you can apply at any point. Currently they are temporary wards of the state, you can apply for temporary guardianship, express interest in permanent guardianship and then after the trial concludes finish the paperwork.

I don't see them turning you down, not with how we dumped them on you in the middle of the night. You can also argue that you have invested in them and provided for them; that is taking initiative. Once they see the scars on that little girl they will be glad to place her with a detective." Clearly the photos from the morning had circulated.

" I have been turned down by an adoption agency before. Now I have a slightly different job but still I don't think I'm that great a candidate." She replied hesitantly.

"In this case that hardly matters, you were probably looking at either domestic or international adoption. Not taking a child out of the foster system, trust me you should see some of the homes we have released kids to, because they have been adopted by good parents." There was distinct sarcasm in the woman's voice.

" Alright then, what do I have to do?"

" I'll bring the paperwork you need to get started over in the morning, do the first visit and you will be through the first step. It won't be an overnight process but it will be quicker than most adoptions. The problem will be the parents but they won't have much say once the court case is done; not to mention the criminal case being built." She could hear papers flipping, a file was probably being prepared so the woman could go home and crash.

" Thank you." She found herself sincerely meaning it.

" No problem." The line went dead and Olivia put the phone down; it was the first step.

The second was making real space for the kids in her place. She had a spare room, but it had spent the last several years filling with junk and slowly the 'office' had been lost. If she now needed a home office than it may as well go in her bedroom and that room could become the girls'.

Wandering into the room Olivia flipped on the light and looked at the mess; this would take some work. Sighing she went to the desk, she may as well get started; she wasn't ready to sleep. Really the only things in this room that needed to moving was the desk. There was also a spare dresser, filled with her mother's stuff and a book shelf she had filled years ago; that could either be cleared for the kids or moved into the living room for that matter.

It would need a paint job, but the room was big enough for a little girl, the dresser could be cleaned out and repainted, maybe a toy box or little book case to round out the furniture. They could get a bed to put against the wall; maybe bunk beds for when Maggie got older.

That or when Maggie was old enough to need space she could trade rooms with the girls, that way they could share a bathroom and have more space; there was a second bathroom off the living room that she didn't mind using. The possibilities were endless; she had just never had reason to consider them.

She would have to talk to her landlady, she had minimal contact with the woman over the years; only knew her from passing. Still she had never heard anything bad about her; hopefully it would be easy. Settling down she began to sort through stuff.

There was old junk mail piled high and magazines she had long since forgotten about. That stuff all went into a new pile on the floor to be thrown out. Pouring her efforts into cleaning stuff out she found herself looking up at the clock to find an hour had passed.

But the desk was empty, she could move it over to her bed room; maybe see if one of the guys could give her a hand. Turning towards the book case she scanned the titles, it would be easier to just move it out too. She would clean out the dresser tomorrow and decide what she should keep and where to put the rest of the stuff; other than that she pretty much needed to come through with a garbage bag.

Right now though she was ready for bed. Olivia turned out lights as she went, stuffing the cushion from the floor back into its spot. Sliding the dead bolt she turned off the light and curled into her nest. She would be glad to get her bed back, but she was almost more excited to look into getting Julia her own room; it was something she had treasured as a kid and Julia would probably only have a few years before she was sharing. Closing her eyes she was relieved that sleep came quickly.

Something was bothering her, she was still mostly asleep but something had changed; Olivia tried to roll over but couldn't. Confused she reached out trying to see what was trapping one arm to her chest and keeping her on her back. Suddenly she was aware that her shirt had been pushed up.

Wide awake she used one hand to push herself upright; her eyes searching the darkness. Then she looked down. Julia was glued to her, suddenly she was aware of a little arm pressed against her abdomen a hand pushed up against the underside of her breast; blue eyes stared back at her.

" What are you doing Julia?" She mumbled.

" I woke up. Olivia, was your mommy mean to you?" The little girl looked at her expectantly, she hesitated.

" Yes she was but she still loved me, there were just some really hard things in her life." There was no point in lying to the child.

" Will you keep me and Maggie?" The little girl's voice was soft.

Olivia felt her heart freeze, it was what she had been planning to do; but she didn't want to give the girl false hope. " I want to."

Suddenly the hand on her chest moved, Olivia reached for it. " What are you doing?"

" I feel your heart. Its loud; I like it." The little girl smiled at her, the little hand didn't move but the child put her ear down to Olivia's chest.

Olivia just stared at the little girl who simply snuggled down, fixing to go to sleep. " Sweetie, why don't you go back to the bed?"

" I want to stay with you." Little face turned up to look at her, Olivia felt her heart melt.

" Lets go to the bed, it will be more comfortable." Wrapping an arm around the girl's back she sat up and pivoted.

Laying Julia on the bed she eased in beside her; the child curled against her immediately. Olivia was to tired to think about it to much and Julia was out like a light. When Maggie fussed she went to the baby, slipping the hand that had held steady to her heart away.

Before leaving she watched the little girl curl into a ball, reaching for the toy she must have left earlier. Julia was so tiny, reaching out for something to hold her steady even in sleep; it was time someone took care of the little girl. Still there was something about how the child sought comfort that unnerved her. It had been something she remembered of herself, when she had wanted someone to be there for her, maybe a mother she didn't have to take care of.

_So this is the warning, I know very little about law, I am researching but also this is just fanfic so I'm going with what seems realistic to me._


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry this was harder to write than I planned... way to many ways to do it :)

Olivia flinched, she had never been afraid to testify before; it was second nature to her. Yet it had never had these stakes before and it had never been this personal. The last day of her life had been a strange type of torture; today was worse.

She wanted it to be over, she had wanted it over the moment it started; but that wasn't an option. Elizabeth Donnelly had ripped her down one side and now it was the defence attorney's turn. Though she had to admit being able to stare at the man who claimed to be the girls' father and identify herself as a detective had been satisfying; she could tell that he was seething.

Even though they had already been through her past once she knew he was gearing up to go through it again. Forcing herself to be calm she made eye contact and waited for the question; she hoped the man stayed by his table he screamed slime from a mile away.

" So you admit that your mother struggled with alcoholism?" His first question out of the gate, she could guess his game plan; there was a coldness in his eyes that told her he was going to do his very best to shred her.

" Yes she did." Short and to the point, let him draw the information out; if he didn't Elizabeth would on a redirect.

" And yourself?"

" No." Olivia replied calmly.

" Not even after growing up with a mother who drank all her problems away? You've never touched the stuff? Never had a drink?" The man was easing closer, she held her composure.

" I'm sorry I misunderstood your question. Yes I do drink on occasion though never more than one or two in a sitting. I have never struggled with alcoholism personally." She didn't give him the in he wanted.

" So you have never been drunk?" He wanted her to get emotional, to snap back at him; she could see it.

" Not in a very long time. Maybe back when I was in college." Olivia shrugged, keeping her face cool; he was good at his game.

" Right then, on the topic of your mother; she raised you alone correct?"

" Yes."

" Now you want to raise not one but two children the same way? You don't think they would be better off with their parents, a family?"

" I think I could give them a good home. I don't argue that it may be easier for a two person household to raise a child but I think the girls' should be somewhere they feel safe."

" Right, right. Now you can't speak to what its like to have a father can you? I checked your mother was never married, no father on your birth certificate. Was it a one night stand that created you? She was already struggling with the bottle? I mean being raised by a single parent is tough but a drunk one, how do you know how to be a mother if you never had an example?" The man turned away from her now, making his case to the court; he didn't know he just made his first mistake.

" I cannot speak for certain as to whether or not my mother was drunk when she conceived me. I like to think she wasn't because there are no reports of it. And from what she told me in several drunken rages I was the cause of her problem; or well the cause of my birth was.

And no it was not a one night stand, it was a rape; when she was a student walking home from work. Her rapist was never caught or prosecuted in her lifetime. But she finished her masters and got a job at a university and kept her rapist's child; and raised her. Everyday she looked at a little bit of him in me, she relived her attack in caring for her child; she claimed that was what made her drink.

She was never a great mother but I know she tried to love me, she always provided for me. And later in life I understood her struggle. But no she did not teach me how to be a mother and from life experiences I don't think it can be taught.

I have held children abused by those they are supposed to love, talked to young women scared out of their minds and comforted people who have lost loved ones to horrific crimes. That has taught me how to care but what has led me to mother is instinct. I know the needs of children and I want to meet them, to provide for them and protect them;maybe so I don't watch another child starve for the love I did as a kid. So I guess I think it is something you learn to do by reacting and it is within all of us; we just must choose whether or not to act on it." Olivia kept herself composed, she wanted to cry or scream; she hated sharing her mother's secret and opening up that pain.

Yet her words had hit their mark throughout the court and many, the lawyer included, had not been expecting that twist. Her eyes locked on the little girl settled between Melinda and Munch. What she had said had clearly gone over her head but the child looked uncomfortable, Olivia knew the only thing keeping her in that seat was the fact Melinda held her baby sister.

She wanted to go, grab the girl and leave; not answer more questions. " Now you have been a detective with SVU how long? That would have been the unit that handled your mother's crime?"

" It was not my mother's crime and at that point SVU did not exist. But yes I have been at SVU for thirteen years and part of the reason I stay is that I like to see justice done." Olivia considered her words, she had too mind her mouth; he wanted her to get upset.

" Isn't your job the reason you were turned down by a domestic adoption agency four years ago?" He continued to dig.

" As I stated earlier yes it is. But I no longer work for NYPD in that exact capacity." She hoped he was beginning to get frustrated; he needed a new line of questioning.

" Right, now you work from home on a case review committee but do you really expect it to give you any more time to yourself?"

" No. But I will be at home, I will have more flexible hours and be available to care for the girls. Twenty years on the job has taught me time management and the importance of not letting things pass you by." Calm, cool and true; she had him caged and was his last witness for cross examination.

" So you will have horrifying pictures of gruesome crimes in your home. What happens if you get lazy and forget to put those files away and a child stumbles on them?"

" Again the likelihood would be slim as procedure has been drilled into me to secure my case files. But I would address it, ask what she saw, how it made her feel and then explain my job to her. That I need to make sure the right person is doing the time for that crime so that it doesn't happen again." It was logical but in reality the chances were slim, she would work from her desk and put her work away when done. She had to sleep in that room and had no desire to see crime scene photos herself early in the morning.

" But you consider that a good environment for little girls?"

"Perfect no, good yes and also safe." Olivia kept her tone in check, was living with abusive parents a good environment for a child.

" Safe, how is your home so safe? Is it baby proofed? High quality security system?" She gulped, the man had just given her a hole; she glanced at Donnelly whose face told the story.

"My home is safe, I know how to protect myself and have thirteen years experience doing it on the street but also attempting to protect the public; I took an oath to it. I can also promise you I will do nothing to add to the collection of scars that child already has. I find it sick that a person would raise their hand against a child in such a way as to permanently mark them." He had made a mistake; and a big one.

Elizabeth Donnelly gave the smallest of nods and the court clearly agreed; expressions telling the story. She knew he had realized his blunder to late; she wondered when he would give up.

" But you have raised your hand and your weapon against people before haven't you?"

" Yes in the line of duty, as I said earlier. All my shots have been reviewed by a committee and been pronounced good shots; necessary to protect life. And given the option I will use my hands before my gun; generally flesh does less damage than lead. All complaints lodged against me have been made off of good arrests and guilt determined by jury; people in prison for their crimes." She glanced at Elizabeth as the man opened his mouth again.

She stood. "Your honor he is grasping at straws, we know this witness's entire life story. He is trying to put a spin on the truth. I am not understating the importance of understanding her opinion's on parenting but that is not where he is going."

" I'll agree, this testimony is complete; reiterating the same questions will not get a new answer. This is the prosecution's last witness; defence has two witnesses. We will hear them today. Ms Benson you may step down." The judge decided, giving her a long glance.

The court had heard way to much about her personal life today and she was relieved to slip back to her friends; lifting Julia into her lap. The little girl cuddled back and Olivia wrapped her arms around her; it felt good to hold the child close.

They watched as the woman stepped onto the stand and listened; well more correctly Olivia listened. Julia buried her face in Olivia's chest and she felt the child's hand come to rest above her heart; the reaction made her sick.

Still as she listened she knew the woman was only buying time, just as her husband did after. Their defence was as expected; blaming it on the hired help. She knew no one in the court bought it, especially not after the photo's of Julia's back were brought out.

It was announced that the jury would give their decision in the morning and court was adjourned. Scooping up Julia, the little girl reached for her sister and Olivia quickly made her excuses to leave. She needed to put some space between herself and the court house, the people who had just gotten a little to close.

I think this will be in three parts, Olivia will be getting some unexpected company next chapter :)


	8. Chapter 8

She fled the court room as fast as she could, she knew people wanted her to stop; she had felt a hand on her arm. But she kept going, making it to the steps before regretting the idea. Side stepping the first reporter she wove her way to the street, Julia clung to her, she could hear the little girl's whimpers; the child didn't like being surrounded by strange people.

Still as they made it clear of the crowd she didn't feel relaxed. Olivia knew she had run from people who genuinely cared about her, some close to her who had known most of it; but others who had been shocked along with the rest of the court. The guilt gnawed at her stomach but she refused to dwell on it; she chose not to share those facts for her own reasons and that was her right.

She only had today in order to protect the little girls pressed against her, the little arm that curled around her neck and the baby pressed between the child's body and her own. They could not go back to that house; and now she felt sure they wouldn't leave her. Still she needed her time just to be with them, the way Julia cringed at the sound of her parent's voices only encouraged Olivia to tolerate her own discomfort.

Olivia let Julia down on the stairs in her building, the little girl skipped up them; she followed close behind with Maggie. When the door opened Julia disappeared quickly, Olivia went into her room and set the baby in the playpen before stripping out of her court suit and changing into comfy sweats.

With a sigh she scrubbed off her make up and pulled hair into a loose pony; happy to be free of a professional appearance.

Scooping up Maggie she went back into the living room, Julia was on the couch with her doll and stuffy; cuddling both close. She settled in the chair, cuddling Maggie, she had learned over the course of the week the girls had been with her that the baby absolutely loved to be cuddled and tickled. She made the sweetest giggling sounds and would curl her tiny hands around the obnoxious fingers but not try to stop them; just giggle and coo.

As much as she talked to the baby she would reply in sweet babble and it was so relaxing; she enjoyed it as much if not more than Maggie. But Julia would only let the game continue so long before she needed to join in; bringing the fluffy dog with her. Maggie plunged her fingers into the fluff squealing happily and Julia smiled at her sister; Olivia couldn't help but feel her frustration melting away.

These little girl's were absolutely precious, they wanted love and attention and once she earned their trust they had accepted her. Julia trusting her with her baby sister and her pain, seeking out her comfort when she was afraid. The child was excited to move into her own room, Olivia would never get sick of the sweet hugs she got when she surprised the child with something; the little girl had clearly never thought of having her own room.

She had told her that they would wait until it was official before decorating it but Olivia had spent several late nights cleaning it out. Moving the desk and book shelf to her own room and clearing out the dresser; sorting her mother's things had brought a few tears. The room was empty except for the dresser that would be painted to match what ever color pattern Julia chose.

Olivia found herself very much looking forward to the project; she wanted to make the child happy. Finally she had found a perk to spending her career married to the job; she had earned money to play with. Spoiling a little girl who didn't expect it was incredibly fun.

She did though plan to talk her into a bunk bed so that when Maggie was old enough they could share; at least for a while. Olivia was looking forward to their shopping trip; especially after the last two days. She was hoping it wouldn't take long for a ruling and they could come home and change to go out for the day. Fin had promised to come with them to help her with moving stuff; he had hinted to asking one of the other guys to come to.

Olivia chose not to worry about it, while Julia was much more free when she was in the apartment she wasn't as afraid of people; or at least not as long as she could duck back behind a knee if necessary. Plus she had already met Finn, he had been in her home and been over to visit a couple times since then; Julia knew he was safe.

Maggie was easy for the most part, she loved to be held and bathed. But she was also content to be left in her play pen with her stuffed rabbit for as long as necessary. Sometimes there was a fuss before naps but only if she wasn't cuddled or given her bottle first; over time Olivia was building the girls' routines and learning their quirks.

It was happening remarkably fast but Olivia knew to leave it up to the kids, she didn't push and she didn't worry when they had rough moments. She was falling for these little girls who only wanted love, even though they looked nothing like her they felt as if they belonged to her; she wanted to give them the world. She knew if it came to it she wouldn't hesitate to protect them at the cost of her own life; nor regret it.

She found it was a strange glimpse into a family, the family she had never had but always dreamed of; slowly being built around her. It was terrifying, electrifying and so delicate all at once; she loved every second of it.

Watching these girls feel safe to play was worth any testimony she had to give; especially now when they were young enough not to understand her words. She could protect them from that, maybe someday it would come out but not for a long time; she could let it die back again. Replace those memories with good ones, and that pain with the joy of little beings discovering their world.

She felt a peace watching them play, feeling them close to her; enjoying some semblance of innocence. It was wonderful, and she didn't want it to end but as Maggie began to drift off to sleep she knew the child needed a nap. Julia however wasn't done, she had spent her day sitting in court wound as tight as possible and had energy to burn.

Gently nudging the older girl out of her lap she cradled Maggie close. " How about we put Maggie down for her nap and make some cookies?"

She got an eager nod and Julia bounced along side her towards the playpen. Olivia watched the girl dangle over the edge pulling Maggie's toys out so that the baby could sleep safely. Even though she was freer to be a child now the little girl still looked out for her sister; it was sweet.

Once the little one was settled Olivia took Julia back to the kitchen and balanced her on a chair in front of the counter. On the recommendation of friends who had raised kids she had got the supplies to make treats, specifically chocolate chip cookies; and had gotten the bag with the recipe on the back. Using said recipe she had tracked down each ingredient and filled her pantry; this was either going to be a messy success or complete disaster.

It turned into a series of mini disasters by the time they were half way through. She had never really done this before and neither had Julia; but the child was game. Twenty minutes later she had gooey hands contained to the bowl forming the dough into balls and a counter, kid and t-shirt covered in flour; a very happy kid mind you.

Olivia was struggling to get the pan greased before Julia got tired of making balls and decided to eat the dough; which she had already tried once she had decided it was mixed well enough. With the oven preheated she wanted to keep the little girl on her chair so her plan was to cycle two pans, hopefully keeping the girl off the floor and away from the hot oven.

She was just about to let Julia start putting the cookies on the pan when there was a knock on the door; for some reason the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She knew it probably had something to do with the fact she had spent the day in court staring at the people who had made open threats about retrieving their children any way possible.

Still the deadbolt remained locked as she peered through the peep hole; relieved to see it was Finn. Opening the door she let him in, Julia watching the scene from her perch chose that moment to start licking her fingers. " Mischief you put the cookies on the pan."

Fin glanced at the girl and laughed. " You decided to take on a project after spending all day in court?"

" We needed to unwind a bit, and somebody wants to snack on the cookie dough. She's going to have no room for cookies when they are actually cooked."

Nuhuh, I'm gonna have a cookie too." Julia answered, now carefully pressing balls of cookie dough into a pattern on the tray; some rather close together.

" She speaks!" Finn laughed, moving to lean on the end of the counter where there was minimal flour coverage.

Julia looked up and nodded at him, attempting to put a whole ball of dough in her mouth; Olivia caught the hand.

" You can't be that hungry, put it on the tray please; we can eat the cookies once they are done." She spaced the dough out and stuffed the tray in the oven, putting the empty one in front of Julia. " Leave lots of space in between them."

Julia nodded and started putting the balls of dough on the new tray, Olivia turned to talk to Finn; knowing she wasn't going to be able to leave her back to Julia very long. " Whats up?"

" I just wanted to see that you were okay, you raced out of there pretty quick." She saw the concern in her friend's eyes. Finn could be a hard person to read, he had a tough shell but she knew that he genuinely cared about her; about all the people around him.

" I'm okay, its just hard to delve into my past in open court. I don't really broadcast some things to the world. Not a lot of people knew before and I liked it that way. I needed some space." She sighed, watching as Julia carefully placed the last ball on the tray.

Pulling the tray away she set it on the stove, it could go in when the other batch were done. Turning back to get the empty bowl she smiled; Julia was already in it. Finn laughed as she let gooey fingers disappear into the girl's mouth; Julia was adorable.

" I understand Liv, just worried bout you. I knew, most of the squad did so you know it doesn't change anything. I'm glad you got them, there's no question that they'll let you keep em." He reached out and caught Julia's cheek. The little girl pulled away slightly but smiled at him.

" I know. Thanks Finn." She relaxed, the man was so kind it was a side of him that most didn't see. He had taken the time to come down to the court house; switching to nights to do it. And tomorrow he was going to give up his day off to come help her get furniture for Julia's room; not to mention be there to hear the ruling.

" Trust me Liv you'll be a great mom. My kid and even El's kids go to you when they need help; you're doing great. Plus you make cookies." He encouraged her, getting a nod of approval from Julia.

She smiled, switching the trays from oven to counter.

" It's just very different. But I like having them here." She tugged Julia's pony tail gently, the girl grinned at her.

" Can I have a cookie Livia?" Julia spun and both hands ended up braced on Olivia's knees.

Handing the little girl a cookie she sent her to the table, and then offered one to Finn. Taking one for herself she followed the two.

Finn left shortly after and she got Maggie up from her nap, Julia tried to feed the little girl a cookie before Olivia got her settled with a bottle. Julia bounced around in and out of her soon to be room and finally settled opposite them on the couch.

The little girl managed to snag two more cookies before supper but still ate enough, Olivia on the other hand had no appetite. Her brief relaxation was over, her mind was back in court; waiting for the decision tomorrow.


	9. Chapter 9

She was fidgety; it was hard to wait for answers, harder to wait when there was a child trying to hide against her body. Olivia glared at the woman who kept turning to look at Julia and Maggie; scaring the girls.

Elizabeth Donnelly glanced between them and then stood; Olivia was relieved to have the judge's body blocking the view of Julia. They only had to wait a little longer for a verdict but she was restless; sleep had been evasive last night.

" Got plans for today? I doubt this will take long." Elizabeth spoke softly, her voice still sharp but she recognized a type of softness in it; they were both aware of Julia listening.

" We are going to get some things for her bedroom. Fin is going to help us get it all set up; someday we will get it painted." Olivia squeezed Julia's hand, the little girl smiled a bit.

" That sounds like fun. Looks like we can get started." Tipping her head back to the bailiff calling for everyone to rise.

Olivia nodded, reaffirming her grip on Maggie and pulling Julia with them. The Judge entered and they sat, she listened as the proceedings finally began. A touch on her arm surprised her, glancing over Kathleen grinned back at her.

Julia ducked and Olivia tucked the child under her arm, reeling from the sight of the two new people joining them. Her heart skipped a beat, Elliot slid in after his daughter; she had hardly seen her old partner since his retirement.

The blonde grinned at her, while her father immediately focused on the judge; she could see his tension in his body. Turning her own focus to the judge who was explaining the lead up to her decision finishing with the statement Olivia had been waiting for.

" In consideration of the children's well fare I believe that the reasons child services removed them was valid. I do not feel comfortable sending them back to that home and it has been brought to my attention that the suitability of the home may not be reconsidered until the criminal court has rested.

I find that Olivia Benson has proved to be suitable caregiver and provided a safe residence. This court supports the decision of protective child services that the children remain in her care. This court rests."

She heard the words but it took a moment to sink in, her hand was being crushed by the person on one side of her and Elizabeth had turned around. There was a ripple of noise through the court as the girl's parents argued with their attorney. Maggie woke up and squirmed in the curve of her arm but she was partially stunned.

A tug on her shirt made her glance down, Julia's eyes were big; she was looking at her parents. "Do we stay with you?"

Tears welled in her eyes, the little girl was so serious. "Yes, sweetie you do."

"We are going to make sure you stay with Olivia forever Julia. Congratulations Olivia, I am going to file the paperwork for permanent custody." Elizabeth Donnelly closed her brief case and patted her shoulder.

"Of course you won, you're a good mom." Kathleen bounced next to her. "Are you guys celebrating?"

" We are going to get some furniture for Julia and a good crib for Maggie." Olivia wrapped her arm around Julia, pulling the girl close; it felt surreal.

"Ooh that's fun, does Julia get to redecorate her room?" Kathleen looked at the little girl, Julia nodded shyly. "What colour are you going to paint it?"

Julia glanced up and Olivia smiled, the little girl may feel safer but she was in a strange place; that meant she wasn't going to speak more than necessary. " She is thinking pink but we will have to see when that happens. First we need to get her a bed that fits her and some other things."

" Nice, maybe I can help; get the room all ready for her." Kathleen bubbled over. "Dad can help move stuff."

" That's okay, Fin already agreed to help me set stuff up. But you are welcome to join us." Olivia was always glad to see Kathleen excited about things and still level headed; the last few years had been rough on her.

" He has no other plans, he can come." Kathleen wasn't the least bit deterred.

" I would like to spend some time with you Liv, and I would like to get to know these two." Elliot finally spoke, resting a hand on his daughter's knee.

" That would be nice." She smiled, pulling Julia up to stand; whatever she did she wanted to get out of here.

Twenty minutes later they were in a department store with Julia clinging to Olivia's leg, Maggie being cradled in Kathleen's arms; finally settled to the new person. Fin and Elliot were looking at a white bunk bed set with a little toy box that matched.

Julia refused to give an opinion and periodically hid her face. But Olivia liked it, the set would look nice in the room once it was painted. Once she paid for the set they split up, the guys went to pick up the paint with the colour card.

Kathleen followed her to the clothing and toy section. If it was permanent then the girls needed complete wardrobes and toy boxes. Her wallet would hurt a little but that was fine, Julia was relaxing around Kathleen and soon they had enough clothes and toys.

Heading for the checkout Kathleen finally got Julia talking to her. " Are you going to help Olivia paint your room?"

" Yea, its going to be pink." Julia grinned at her, she didn't want to make the girl wait any longer to feel settled. It was time for her to feel like the apartment was her home.

It would be easier for Maggie, the baby would never remember anything else and if she didn't have to know the details Olivia wasn't going to tell her. She wanted this to be an easy transition for the little girl.


	10. Chapter 10

She flopped into the bed, absolutely exhausted both physically and emotionally. It was sinking in now; the room next to her was baby girl pink with a little girl in it, hopefully sleeping. There was a crib along the wall by her bed and a playpen center stage in her living room.

In the eyes of the law these kids were hers, soon to be as much as if she had delivered them herself. This wasn't helping one of her coworkers' kids out of a bind or holding a young victim; it was parenting all day every day.

There was no regret in her heart; she would do it all over again to protect them from that house and the people who had created them. Yet a twinge of fear had crept into her, along with the weight of responsibility.

The baby sharing her room was sweet, innocent and trusting but the little girl next door had seen the side of human nature no child should. It had taken time to win her trust and still Olivia guarded her movements; not wanting to scare the child.

As she grew up Julia would have to work through the scars of her past, some that would remain visible forever. Maggie would eventually have questions, and should there be delays in the criminal court case both girls would be dragged through the court house again.

Not to mention there was a new job for her to start in four days, one that no one else had done before; it was entirely new for the NYPD. She along with a couple other detectives had been reassigned as guinea pigs.

She got to dig through SVU case files looking for mistakes she would no doubt find and then confront people about them and open closed cases and old wounds. Olivia knew it would be trying but it allowed her much more freedom to build a home life than the squad did.

Closing her eyes she thought of the relaxing vacation she had planned, a smirk crossed her face; it had become something entirely different. Maybe in a few years she would try for another, out of state and away from her phone; Disneyland or something once both girls were old enough to appreciate it.

Pushing the worries from her mind Olivia tried to sleep; she had a full day to come tomorrow. She had a busy little girl and a baby who needed her attention, not to mention things to set up for her home office; the new job started just the other side of the weekend.

It was hours later that a small girl crawled into her bed and snuggled into the brunette's body to sleep. Having Julia next to her was no longer a strange thing, she simply excepted the little body into her arms, cradling her close; knowing it made her feel safe to rest. A hand found her heartbeat and the child nuzzled closer.

Olivia woke to feed Maggie and Julia hardly woke but immediately snuggled back when she returned. She wanted to know why the little girl didn't sleep in her own room but left it for morning when she sat both kids up to the breakfast bar, finally in appropriate chairs.

Still as the little girl nibbled her toast Olivia realized she didn't need to ask; she understood. Julia felt safe, safe enough to seek out her own comfort and that was exactly what she wanted. Between feeding Maggie bites of mashed banana she tried to lay a day out for Julia.

"I need to do some things in my room today. Will you play with Maggie this morning?" She knew she would need to focus for the morning, laying out an office as one side of her room; there was no question in her mind that Julia would watch her sister.

" Uhuh." The little girl mumbled with her mouth full.

"We can go to the park this afternoon, alright hon?" It was strange, she had been aware of the parks in her neighborhood; now she had been out to them. Julia was shy but she loved the swings as long as Olivia stayed close; the little girl wasn't used to freedom.

She got a nod and smiled as the girl slipped from her booster seat, scooping up Maggie and the dishes. Julia fetched her new coloring books and she set Maggie next to her, the baby immediately settled against her sister and snatched up a crayon.

Feeling a little relaxed she set to work, pleased to set to work. In a way she was looking forward to getting back to work it was new, a change that she needed. Both with her family life and work, the rookies had made her feel old; it just wasn't right without her old partner.

It was two hours later that her office was set up and she was ready for Monday to come. The girls had played quietly all morning and Maggie was now curled in her sister's lap for a nap; the two were adorable to watch. Julia took care of her little sister and no matter how many times she looked at the girl she still saw the child who had been afraid of being sent back home.

Smiling she greeted Julia who looked up from her sister. " Should we get some lunch before the park?"

The little blonde nodded and shifted the baby in her arms; Olivia knelt and lifted her up. Settling the sleeping child into the bend of her arm she headed into the kitchen to find something for Julia. It was an hour later that the girl was fed and Maggie had some mush with formula.

Julia bounced along beside her as they walked down the block towards the park. Julia dive bombed the swing, Olivia followed along dutifully and pushed the little girl as she swung back and forth. Maggie cooed contentedly watching everything from her baby seat.

It was midafternoon by the time they got back to the apartment, an unexpected visitor was coming down the stairs. Julia swung back to her knees but didn't hide.

" Judge Donnelly?" Olivia was taken aback, she was not expecting to hear from her for a while; not until the adoption was finalized.

" Its Elizabeth please. Do you have a moment or two? I need to talk to you, we may have a glitch." There was stress written all over the woman's face.

" Of course, let's go inside; Julia can play in her room. " Something didn't feel right but she didn't want to tip off Julia; the girl sensed moods very quickly.

A moment later the girls were in Julia's room and they were one the couch; Elizabeth was cracking. "We have a problem, well I know I do and I am going to assume it is going to affect you soon enough. Judge Ronse has gone missing; never came back from lunch. A friend's husband works around different places, volunteering at half way houses and such.

Well they are still on the outside, the case isn't solid yet and SVU is being cautious but he heard that there was a hit taken out against her and me. They claim they are going to get their kids back one way or another.

No offence but that man has one or two cops on his payroll and I've learned from threats. You have the girls and I wanted you to have a heads up but I want advice too; this isn't my comfort zone. I know you've had a hit taken out against you before and dealt with it all."

Olivia watched the older blonde, the woman was struggling and nervous; something cold settled over her. In a way she knew this was coming, from the moment Cragen told her to keep her gun close. She remembered replying that if she got her shot she would take it; now it was coming closer.

" Stay here, you are more than welcome to crash here for a few days; take my room. I have my back up piece and this is not a place you regularly are. They will come here for me, to kill me and take the girls; not looking for you. " This was something she had hoped to avoid and yet she resigned herself to it; these creeps wanted their punching bags and revenge.

" Are, are you sure?" Elizabeth stuttered, the woman didn't look relieve, Olivia understood. This was the side of the law the judge never really dealt with, she saw it and heard about it but didn't have to face.

"Yes." She nodded, moving silently to her lock box, the woman watched as she loaded the weapon and cocked the safety; motioning Elizabeth closer. " To use this all you need to do is flip this off the safety, if you do not need it leave it; if there weren't kids in the house I wouldn't feel bad about leaving it off. It will stay here."

" Thank you Olivia, I appreciate this." The woman hardly touched the gun but Olivia let it drop. She understood Elizabeth's fear.


	11. Chapter 11

thanks for reminding me penny2012. sorry to everyone who was reading this when I stopped.

.o0o.

Fear had a sound hold in her heart, guilt was a close second; but this was very real. She had finished her day with a silent shadow and returned to Olivia's; two veteran cops exchanged a silent hand off. Fin and Olivia were not new to this; nor phased by it.

Olivia ran her home smoothly, the kids knew something was off but it was her giving it away; not the cop. Even now she couldn't sleep and it had nothing to do with the baby she was sharing the room with; Olivia was on the couch.

She could hear just about anything; she had listened to horrific things in court. There had been threats over the years, even an attempt that had almost succeeded; Olivia had been involved in stopping this. But it had never been so direct; so close.

This wasn't an angry defendant issuing empty threats they couldn't complete. These people had the money and the motive to do whatever they wanted. Already proved that they would, it was very real and playing havoc on her mind.

It was a long night, waiting for morning; Olivia gave her a forced smile. Pushing a coffee into her hands, she took it and went to sit with the girls. Maggie was in a high chair and Julia in a booster seat.

The baby cooed happily crushing cheerios. Julia was eying her carefully over her own bowl of cereal. Olivia joined them already halfway through her caffeine kick.

" You can work from here today." The woman's tone was relaxed but her words were firm. The detective stood, moving towards her room; her weapon was on her hip.

Standing quickly she followed her; her gut rolling. She shut the door firmly, Olivia turned back. " Are you holding together?"

" Doing my best. What happened?" Tracking the cop with her eyes, Olivia was alert but not on guard; there were probably tells but she couldn't see them.

" Body turned up, and a hit has been confirmed on me; graphically." Olivia glanced at her, moving towards the closet.

" They killed…" She broke off, she knew the man his family. " How?"

" Liz you don't want to know, the unit is handling it. I've got you, I'm a much bigger target." She watched the woman moving, there was still no signs of her fear.

" Alright but you expect them to come here?"

" Eventually. I'm going to work in the living room today. You work in here with the kids. Just stay calm, they may not even get this far."

" You aren't worried?" She felt her anxiety spike.

"To an extent I am. This is the job." Olivia met her eyes for a moment before stepping into the bathroom. It was going to be a long day.

For a while she tried to work then she tried to build a case; her mind couldn't focus. The kids played quietly; Julia was good with her sister.

The girl seemed to understand, she watched though; the girl kept track of everything. But she wasn't concerned; the little girl took lead from Olivia, the person she trusted; which was probably a good thing.

It didn't help that the day passed uneventfully, she watched the kids get tucked into bed. Then took a gravel at Olivia's insistence, it helped she dropped right off; wondering how the cop coped.

.o0o.

Her nerves were tight, something was off; something was happening. Finn was working the judge's murder; it was sloppy. But it was cruel, physical strength would not be on her side in this fight; it would come down to aim.

Just as this was a job to them it was to her; to win was to stay alive. They worked for money, she fought to love; she wasn't going to sleep tonight. Her head was away from the door the safety was off her gun; she watched time slip by.

She was thankful that now that Maggie was easting regularly she would sleep through, a serious talk with Julia would keep the girl in the room. This was her fight to win; the darkness was comfort. This was her home; she knew it and it was her advantage.

Yet time slipped by and it became hard to wait, she was wired and had to be still. It was early morning, she wanted it over; wanted it safe. Separating work from life she was good at for herself; right now though there were three others attached to her eyes searched, shifted the gun and listened.


	12. Chapter 12

Olivia wasn't going to sleep tonight, she thought something bad was going to happen; Julia didn't want to sleep either. The lady was nice, she didn't try to hurt them; she took care of them. Being told to stay in her room was not something Olivia was saying to be mean; she knew that.

It meant Olivia thought her parents were going to come tonight; or their friends. She wasn't going to sleep well either. She wished Maggie was in her room, Olivia said when she was bigger they would have to say; she said it like it was a chore.

But she loved Maggie, she was cute just like a doll; and the only toy she'd ever had before Olivia. A part of her knew it was too good to be true, Olivia was to nice; nobody was nice to her because she was bad. People wanted good little girls and she couldn't be no matter how hard she tried.

Something bad could happen to Olivia now though, because she had taken her away. Climbing to the top bunk she huddled down where she could see the door and slept fitfully; she had spent many nights curled in a ball to sleep. It made it harder for people to hurt you that way.

It was a very long time until she heard the first noise, a loud crack; then two pops and yelling. She slid down the ladder and crept to the door, easing it open a crack. She didn't want to see but she had to; she had to know if they were here for her.

One man fell, he didn't move again, Olivia was crouched behind the couch; two men were moving towards her. There was another flash and then two more all with loud bangs; Olivia fell back. Julia stepped back, she heard Olivia cry out and saw red; when there was blood it was bad. When they made her bleed it always hurt.

Peeking back out only one man was still standing; Olivia was on her back. She saw the gun, she'd seen Olivia use it, she wanted to grab it; all she had to do was squeeze. Especially him, he had hurt her so many times; now he was hurting someone nice.

She stared hard, unable to look away, until Olivia made the man fall; his head hit a table and Olivia twisted reaching for the gun. She could go to Maggie now, no one would see her. Slipping through the door she raced across to Olivia's room.

Closing that door behind her she heard another crash. The woman was sitting up in the bed, reaching into Maggie's bed. She was nice too, but not like Olivia; she had been scared since she got here; she couldn't help Maggie.

Her knees slid into the play pen as she scratched at it, Maggie whimpered and the woman pulled back; she knew they had to be quiet. Maggie knew to be quiet when she held her; she knew how to make her quiet too. The woman slipped off the bed, gesturing that she should go with her.

She shook her head, she had to get Maggie out and hide. If you hid and they were drinking they didn't look to hard; sometimes they left you alone. She could hide better with Maggie; they were both small. Leaning against the play pen she made a soft clicking sound, Maggie reached up to her.

Grabbing her wrists she pulled her up, Maggie cried a bit, it probably hurt her; but she couldn't tip the playpen all the way over. She wasn't sure she could stand it back up. There was another crash, squeezing Maggie to her she dove into the closet, and crawled all the way to the back.

She put her hand against something white, it wasn't the wall it moved when you pushed; she crawled behind it and sat Maggie up in front of her as far in the corner as she could. If they found her they would think she had Maggie behind her; when she had to get up they might not see the baby if they didn't look too hard.

Holding Maggie's little hand she waited, that was all she could do now, wait until they were found; and keep Maggie quiet. They sat in the darkness a long time, it was really quiet for a while and then there was more yelling. Someone moved around the room, opened the closet and looked in; she put her hand near Maggie's mouth to keep her quiet.

There were lots of people in here now, moving around and talking, they weren't yelling now; they knew they were in control. She stayed quiet and hidden, if Olivia wasn't okay she wasn't sure she wanted to be found.

Some of her friends were nice, if Finn came she would come out; he was safe. He had a gun like Olivia and he promised not to hurt them; he'd held her hand when they sat in the room with her parents. He'd promised to hurt them if they ever touched her again.

Mel had been nice too, she was a doctor and really smart; Olivia liked her. They were friends outside of work, she remembered saying it was hard cuz work was so bad sometimes and they both had to do it all the time. She would come out for her, she had a daughter too; her daughter was bigger though.

People talked in the other room and then there was yelling, but she knew the voice; he was mad at somebody. Maybe he was mad because Olivia was his friend too and she'd been hurt; she knew what it was to hurt.


	13. Chapter 13

The call had come across the scanner early in the morning, moments later it was confirmed and Warner was requested; specifically. His heart had sank, he was already on his way to the door, usually he didn't listen to the scanner at night but tonight had been different.

The whole squad was listening and on high alert. Formally Olivia was only attached to their unit in review capacity but she was still family to him; more than that. He was on route by the time Cragen called, already at the stationhouse.

Everybody else was heading over, uniforms had Donnelly off the scene and on route back-she wasn't hurt. His stomach was in his throat, very little scared him much, this did; this was important to Olivia. He didn't know if she had even survived.

The mass of black and whites didn't soothe his fears; but then Olivia was cop. A cop was hurt units pulled in far and wide to support their own. Many of these cars might not even be working the scene but have come just to see if they could help.

Some might escort to the hospital if they were transporting Olivia; others who didn't make it this far would block roads and clear traffic if they could. It was a silent understanding between cops, you look out for your brothers and sisters; help any way you can.

He took the stairs two at a time, the front buzzer had been jammed; a panel of glass broken. Point of entry had been forced; it was likely the same force was used within his friend's home. As he made it to the door he met the occupants of the vehicles below.

Their faces revealed little but he stepped into the room, his stomach finally dropped. Olivia wasn't lying on the floor, it meant she was still fighting; she had left one behind though. Warner was already on scene, the uniforms stood awkwardly out of her way.

" You SVU?" One asked, his voice revealed his fear.

" Yeah I am, this is linked to my case, and she's in my unit; we'll take this scene."

" You got it, walk you through?" He stepped away from his partner.

" No, two questions, where was she and how many were there?"

" Three against one. She was by the couch, loaded her up and sent her out first; she's hanging on." He gestured to a pool of blood Fin struggled to look at. " She got him straight through the door, another is touch and go; looks like she went round with the last guy though."

" Thanks. Hold the scene, let my guys in. You heard anything of the kids?" He glanced at them, even as he felt Warner shift her eyes to him; she was not one you wanted to cross.

They shook their heads and stepped out quickly; Warner stood up moving towards him." The girls are hiding. I'll try and find them now and we'll take them to the hospital but I want that body out of here first."

" Consider it done. I can take the kids if you need to work, no one I have is urgent; they have infinite time to wait anyways."

" You are working so am I. I need to know what killed him."

" Two nine mils to the heart, I'd guess from Olivia's service weapon which is over there on the floor. Clean tight double tap, any further results you can wait for; been dead less than an hour. Greg and Ryan can load him up and take him back to a cooler; let me help you with the girls." Melinda spoke quickly and calmly; already stripping off her gloves.

" Fine, they have to be in the bedroom somewhere; uniforms did a quick sweep." He turned back as more people entered.

" Wow this is a mess; just about overpowered her." Amaro said, glancing around; he saw Munch's gaze shift, the telltale eyebrow raise. Anger boiled inside him.

" Three on one is not exactly a fair fight." He turned to face the younger detective; almost willing him to make another stupid remark.

" She got one." He remarked moving towards the other guy.

" She is a cop, she took on three and came out alive. You may not like her but you damn well will show her some respect; or I'll teach you some." Fin snarled stepping closer.

" Didn't say anything about liking her but it looks like they got the upper hand on her."

The detective didn't get out another word before Finn had his back to the wall. " Your damn lucky this is a crime scene that hasn't been processed yet; I can't spill any blood." He drilled his fist hard into the man's gut.

Warner and Munch looked on silently, their silence stating where they stood on the matter. Rollins, didn't have the good sense. " Hey guys, we're all a little stressed; let's just ease back a little."

" Screw that, get out of here, you don't touch this case or go near Liv; now or ever. We've got this, Munch is primary; go back to the house and tell Cragen your catching. Try and learn some respect for cops who've been at it a lot longer than you while you're at it." With that he let the man slide down the wall a bit and turned away; pulling his anger into line.

Melinda followed him into the room, they checked the usual places, the bath tub, under the bed and then began looking in the other nooks and crannies two little girls could hide in. He checked around the desk, pulling the chair out and then turning to the dresser.

Melinda took the closet, when she pulled the garment bag aside Julia peeked up at her silently. " Got them."

He turned to see Julia stand up, for a moment he thought she might have stashed Maggie somewhere else but instead she reached down in front of her. Maggie cuddled into her arms, at home there; both were good at being quiet.

" Are you two okay?" Melinda's voice was gentle, she crouched in front of Julia.

The little girl nodded, he sighed; she was scared and had reverted to silence. He let Melinda take the lead with them, he stepped back through the doorway and made sure that the body was gone; along with Amaro.

The coast was clear so he led them out the car. Melinda sat in back and managed to coax Maggie out of Julia's arms; it worked since they didn't have child seats. It was a long drive to Mercy General, Julia was silent and he had to turn off the scanner; there was chatter about the whole mess.

Still when they actually got to the hospital he was relieved to have Melinda who had friends and managed to work her way around several nurses to get them a waiting room. Olivia's next of kin was unknown, she had a brother but Cragen couldn't get in contact with him; Fin wasn't sure he would even care.

So it was given to them, a nurse came in to tell them when Olivia came out of surgery; Julia huddled back when anyone new came into the room. The halls slowly filled with cops, Munch came after the apartment was process, letting them know that the CSU team promised to clean up after themselves as much as possible.

He sighed as it looked less likely that Olivia would be able to take the girls home that night. The only good news came with Rollins who looked exhausted by the time she showed up. " She took out two of three, the other died on the table. But it's a mess of prints got IDs on the two thugs; we already know the third."

He sat up at that but then glanced at Julia, he had a good idea what she meant; they didn't need to discuss it in front of the girls. "How's Judge Donnelly?"

"She's holding it together but it shook her; I think she's blaming herself. Helpful though, the list that they are laying against the surviving one is massive; she is going to push Olivia's papers too. Calling in every favor she has."

" It'll come down to a plea deal of some sort." Munch rolled his eyes from a seat in the corner; it would be pure stupidity to take this case to court; if they could put Olivia on the stand it would seal in a heartbeat.

At long last a nurse came in, Julia melted herself into the chair as much as possible; doing her best to hide in Melinda's shadow. But everyone else perked up. " She looks worse than she is, many of her injuries are superficial but ugly. We have her sedated right now but she should wake up within the next few hours. You can go in and see her but two at a time please."

He stood quickly, Melinda scooped up the kids, the nurse nodded; they moved as a group. Julia beside Melinda he took the lead, she gestured to a door way half way down the hall; glancing back he saw the corridor was lined with cops.

Once they were in the room Julia moved quicker and then dropped back fast with a tiny whimper. He felt the same as the girl as he got a good look at his friend. Melinda only winced, moving towards the charts.


	14. Chapter 14

One look told her Olivia was in rough shape, it was something she could handle; but it wasn't nice. Cradling Maggie against her shoulder she read the chart.

Most of the injuries were minor, time would heal them; it just wasn't pleasant. The shoulder held some concern but even it would mostly just be painful. Still nothing would be known for sure until Olivia woke up.

Her heart was with Olivia, she wanted to comfort her friend; but there was little she could do. They were pumping her with fluids, and had stitched her up but it came down to time. The challenge was going to be explaining it to a five year old.

Stepping back she offered an arm to Julia, the little girl had backed herself up to the door. The girl put a hand on her shoulder, gently she guided the girl closer and lifted her up. " Olivia is going to be okay Julia, she needs to rest."

" She hurts."

" Not right now, they've given her medicine; she just needs to sleep. We will wait until she wakes up." Melinda moved close to the bed, it was a little better to look down; there were spots that didn't look to bad.

" Its my fault." She wished she had a hand free to wipe the little girl's tears.

" No its not sweetie, its not your fault. Olivia loves you and no one blames you." Melinda promised, looking down at her friend; she knew Olivia loved the little girl.

They stayed for a few moments before leaving to let others take their turns to see Olivia. She found a snack for Maggie but couldn't coax Julia to eat anything. It was into the business day by the time Olivia woke up; much to the relief of everyone who had seen a tiny little girl huddled with the baby in the waiting room.

Standing by the bed again Melinda lifted Julia onto her hip again. Maggie was in Fin's arms; the baby didn't know what was going on but the little girl did. She watched the little girl study her friend.

" Hey sweetie." Olivia's voice was weak, but she looked better sitting up. " Will you come here?"

One arm reached out, she urged Julia to go; the little girl hesitated. "Its okay."

She smiled and guided the girl down beside Olivia; the child instantly curling into her. Olivia took one hand and brought it to her heart. "Its okay Julia, I'm sorry I scared you."

They stayed curled together for a while before Olivia coaxed her to go back and wait with Finn. Melinda watched until the girl was with the other detective before turning her focus on Olivia. " How do you honestly feel?"

" Like I got hit by a truck." Olivia smiled a little, pushing herself up a little more. " How is she?"

" Shaken, thinking that it was too good to be true; quiet." Melinda sat on the edge of the hospital bed. " You got worked over."

" Yeah I shot the two with guns; lost mine by the time I got to the third. He came to do the deed himself."

" The two you hit you set to the morgue, I had one of my assistants take care of them. Nothing special, the second got scratched; I'm attributing that to you." She smiled relieved to see Olivia perked a little bit.

" Good, damn idiot came himself; wish I'd got him. Have you seen Donnelly?"

" No, but she is at the precinct. She's holding herself together, I think she's upset about the kids but that was just reactions. Julia took her sister and hid, she doesn't know Donnelly well enough to have gone with her."

" She was scared and she reacted." Olivia nodded and understood, they both understood.

" I know, has the doctor been in to see you yet?"

" Yea and he's pissed at me I'm getting out of here." Olivia levelled her gaze easily, she saw the challenge in her eyes.

" That's what you think? You got shot Liv you need to heal, that takes time; not to mention your home is a mess." She took her friend's good hand and squeezed it gently.

" I already told them I want to leave and they already gave me the lecture. I stay conscious for a few hours and tell them again. I'm not on duty so no one can force me to." The woman pushed herself up again and hesitated. " Honestly Melinda how bad do I look?"

" Like you got hit by a truck. You need heal Olivia, will you please stay for a couple days? You should stay forty eight hours at least. I'm telling you this as a doctor and a friend." She shifted closer, she wasn't even sure what the gown hid for injuries; yet if Olivia wasn't fighting it she would be more worried.

" Melinda I don't want to stay, I hate hospitals and I don't want to have to leave Julia and Maggie somewhere. I'll take it easy and take a couple extra days off work; get my place put back together. I don't want to stay here."

" Have they mentioned a concussion or anything?"

" You're looking for reasons I can't leave. No, I hit my head but not hard, nothing showed up in their tests; my head is fine." Olivia rolled her eyes.

" Yes and no Olivia. I don't think it is a good idea that you leave but I do want to know if there are reasons you really should not leave; as in you could end up seriously hurt. I do understand though, I know you want to be with the girls." She squeezed her friend's hand.

" I'm not saying I want to Melinda; I am going home. I'm taking the girls and we'll spend a night in a hotel if we have to. I need to deal with this." Olivia's eyes were hard now; cop eyes.

" You aren't alone Olivia, if you are going to leave you are at least going to spend the night with me; the kids too. We'll have to clear it with CAS but if you won't stay here you will at least stay where someone can keep an eye on you." Melinda sighed, her friend could be difficult.

" Melinda I'll be okay."

" Lets hear you say that when you try to put a shirt on. Its decided, if you stay with me it will save you some heat from everyone else; and I have raised a kid I think CAS will cope."


	15. Chapter 15

It was early evening when Melinda helped her into a car, the woman wasn't thrilled with her choice. At least she had been able to get the nurse to help her change; Melinda didn't need to know she had been right.

Maggie was in a car seat and Julia a booster, the baby was sleeping but she knew the little girl was watching. She hadn't been able to convince Julia that none of it was her fault yet; and her face didn't help any either.

Still Melinda drove them home and helped her settle the kids in her daughter's old room; the girl was off at college. She smiled as Julia looked around curiously, the room was a teenagers but tame; photos of friends took over one wall. The desk framed by photos a mix of art and family; the bed was on the other side of the room and Julia studied the whole place with interest. Maybe someday Julia would leave behind a similar room to go off to school.

The kids tucked into bed Melinda guided her upstairs, her body was already aching but the woman's eyes brooked no argument. In the guest room she turned to face her friend as the door shut. " Strip Olivia."

She growled and hesitated, her left arm in a sling, but she had been told she was lucky it wasn't a cast. The only reason was that the dressing needed to be changed, she had to let Melinda do that in the morning. Then the only reason they hadn't drugged her out her skull so she couldn't leave was Melinda had pulled rank.

" I'm really okay." Even as the woman nodded she knew she wasn't getting out of it. Gripping the shirt she worked it up on both sides and winced; it had hurt going on. Melinda stepped up behind her and eased it over one shoulder and then over the other gently.

She heard the sigh even as she worked the sweats over her hips; it hurt like hell. " You should have stayed in the hospital Liv, you look horrible."

Still she let them fall to her ankles and Melinda stepped forward; inspecting her injuries. It was mostly bruising but it still hurt and even though Melinda was gentle she was also professional; she poked as needed. " I don't want to be there."

" I got the message, and I respect it move on. Take a warm shower and go to sleep Liv, actually sleep; its safe." Melinda turned away and sat on the bed.

She walked to the shower and stepped under the warm flow, it was good; a wrap covered the dressing on her shoulder but water hit her body and slid down easing the sore muscles and cuts. When she returned to the bedroom Warner was gone, she dressed slowly; and curled into the bed.

Twenty minutes later Melinda came back, she pushed herself up to sit; they could talk for a moment without the kids. Melinda spoke first, her voice hollow. " She knows her father was there, she watched the fight."

" I don't know if I want to discuss it with her, no matter what he did to her he is her father; she hates him and fears him. But bringing him up only keeps that alive, telling her he almost got me gives him power; she doesn't need to know that." Olivia sighed, she didn't know how to gauge what Julia needed in this; nothing had prepared her for it.

" Maybe she needs to understand that she is loved. That you will take care of yourself as much as you will take care of her." Melinda reached out, she felt her fingers tracing over her cheek; the bruises.

" I take care of myself, I'll take the time to heal but I won't back down. I don't know how to tell her she wasn't safe in my home, I wanted to keep her safe. "

"You kept her safe, you got hurt; she sees it is because of her. Olivia she is not a sheltered child who was abused. She knows nothing except abuse, if she hadn't have had Maggie to take care of she may not have made it this far as strong as she is."

" I know that, but she is still a little girl."

" I don't argue that at all but she is not a little girl who believes the world a safe place; she knows cruelty. She has been told that she deserves the pain she receives; she believed what happened to be her fault. "Melinda didn't back away, her voice was firm and Olivia knew she was speaking with the experience of raising a child.

" She sees you get hurt, after you bring her into your home. Olivia you need to address it; explain to her. She doesn't need details but she can understand that her father is evil; she already knows he has hurt her. You protected her and he hurt you; don't leave it to her imagination." Melinda's thoughts were logical and spoke of experience; a woman who had a girl grow up with her.

" Does it make sense that I don't want to? She is a kid, I want to protect her; to let it be over."

" And soon it will be. Olivia it hurt Donnelly not to react in the way she expected herself to. You were hurt but you were doing what you are good at; you eliminated the threat. Now she is safe, she is doing what she is good at; the ball is in her court. We both know she is damn good, she is a good judge and being a good lawyer did that; she has friends and favors. You know she wants this for you, we all do; you are a good friend."

" She is good, I know that; but there is little I can do there." She didn't touch on the latest statement, there was something behind the words; she wasn't sure she wanted to deal with it tonight.

" It's hard to let go of control but now there are two criminal cases coming; you will have a hand in both. Olivia you've done your share; let your friends help you out. No one is offering to do anything they don't want to, we all have different strengths; sometimes we all get pushed out of our comfort zones too. I remember a time when you were and my life depended on it." Her jaw twitched, she didn't want Melinda to go there; yet she wasn't sure she could escape it.

"That was different." She winced even as the woman's eyes hardened.

" Not so much, only this time we were waiting for you in the hospital; you were there for me. My blood was on your hands…"

" Yeah I had a finger in your chest and it scared the hell out of me." She yelped.

" And that may have saved my life but that is not the point; though we never talked about it again. Olivia you need to accept that while you can offer all your heart in friendship you must also open yourself to accept it." Melinda spoke softly, even as her fingers wandered up Olivia's shoulder.

" I want you to heal, I want you to take the time, you know these things take time; both your body and the legal system. Take the time you need, you will stay here, we will get your place cleaned up and you will talk to Julia and I will leave that to you; you've heard my opinion on it. Get some sleep, we both know you need the rest."


	16. Chapter 16

Morning came too soon and with it people, she was up and almost dressed when Melinda came up and made her lay back down. She watched as the woman changed the dressing, her shoulder was swollen but the wound was not as bad as she expected.

"It's just weeping a little bit, everything looks fine." Melinda spoke calmly, rewrapping the shoulder before helping her into her shirt again. When she tried to duck the sling she got a hard look that made her pause and put it on. "Wear it for a week at least; keep the pressure off the joint."

"Fine."

"Julia is still sleeping but I got Maggie up; I think it would best if you woke her." Melinda headed back down the stairs; it took her a bit longer to make her way down.

She slipped into the room where Julia slept, the little curl had balled herself up in the blankets the same way she did at home. The room held the personality of a young woman just as it housed a little girl; it held the history of a home. Someday maybe she would be able to walk into Julia and Maggie's room and see the same progression.

She paused to look at the pictures of her friend and daughter through the years; they were clearly close. It was good to have Melinda close, what the woman said was true and she spoke from experience. Sitting near Julia she gently rubbed the girl's back, unwinding the blankets from the child's tiny frame.

"Livia?"

"Yeah baby, its morning Julia, want some breakfast?" She smiled as blue eyes blinked at her, still heavy with sleep; the little girl squirmed and rolled over.

Julia nodded." Alright up you get. We will go to the apartment later today and get some things; we are going to stay with Melinda for a couple nights."

She watched the little girl sit up and stretch; Julia padded beside her back to the living room. Melinda sat with Maggie; the baby was working her way through a bottle. "There is cereal in kitchen for Julia, coffee too."

Olivia got both cereal and coffee and settled Julia on her lap for breakfast; the little girl curled into her. Her body ached but it was nice, it was in a semblance normal. They had a quiet morning; she called Fin and got clearance to get back into the apartment.

He gave her the all clear, promising to meet them there and take off the seal. Melinda drove but the ride was quiet, Julia reverted to silence as they climbed the stairs. Fin was waiting on the landing, the seal was off the door; at least it didn't look like it needed to be replaced.

She turned to Melinda. "Would you mind waiting with Julia for a moment? I want to see how…"

"Of course." The woman reached for Julia's hand, even as the little girl's expression changed slightly.

"I just need to look around a moment honey; it's okay." She reassured the girl before following Fin into the apartment.

"You know you coulda stayed a few days; we would've cleaned this up for you." Her colleague spoke calmly, closing the door behind them.

"It's my place; I'll take care of it." She sighed as she looked around; they had done some damage in the heat of the fight. "The mess too."

"You think it might be time for some renovations?" Fin shifted in her periphery.

"I don't know. Just want to move home, don't want to put Melinda out too long." She wandered around the room, pausing by the couch; her own blood stained the floor. "At least the bedrooms are fine; just need clean it up out here."

"We could get it done pretty quick Liv, flip an island in and extend it around; give you a bit more separation between kitchen and living room. You'll want to put down some new floor anyways."

"Yea I do, I just don't know Fin, need to sort it out." Even though it was stupid she picked up a couple of books that had gotten knocked over.

Silently he nodded to that and she was thankful that he let her be. Though she got the sense that while he was helping her clean things up he was also sizing things up. She got the worst of the minor damage cleaned up; her stuff wasn't on the floor anymore.

Fin stood silently by the couch, she had no desire to go back over there; she didn't want Julia to see this. Closing her eyes she took a moment to control herself and went to the bedroom to get a few things for herself and the kids.

When she came out Fin was directly in her path; his hand outstretched. "Liv I'll take care of this, give me your key and next time you come back you can come home. I need you to drop by the station, we need to get Julia to tell us what she saw; you know it's just procedure. Then put it all behind you."

"I can deal Fin." It sounded weak even as it came out of her mouth.

"I know that Liv, but you don't have to." His tone was gentle but he wasn't going to let her get out of it; she handed over the key as he pulled both it and the bag from her hands. "Won't change it too much."

She just nodded, more than ready to leave; Julia's eyes were big as they stepped out of the apartment. "We need to go to the precinct for a few minutes Julia, you need to tell Fin what you saw yesterday."

"Can I go to my room?"

"No honey, we need to clean up a bit more before we go home. I got you some things." She reached for Julia's hand.

"Okay." Julia followed her down the stairs; Melinda caught her gaze and nodded silently; at least someone approved of her decision.

"Thanks Melinda." She sighed, dropping into the passenger seat; Melinda smiled a little.

"I don't mind, Olivia it's alright. " They moved through traffic easily.

"We can get this done then get out of your hair. "

"No, you aren't. I am going to stop by the morgue though; I'll pick up the reports on the post and verify; we'll close out this case. "

"You have to sign off on all their work? " Sometimes she had to remember that her friend's responsibilities were different; Melinda was the boss at the morgue.

"I prefer to supervise it, but this works. Having the reports finalized clears up a few loose ends. I am back in a moment." Melinda parked and then slipped out of the car.

She sat silently waiting for Melinda to come back, sinking into her mind for a few moments; life was frazzling. Everything in her life was upside down now and it would never go back. Some people chose families so much earlier in life.

Yet starting one now was turning everything upside down, and still she had seen the natural way ruin lives; this was hard but it was becoming her reason to live. She needed to get through this to settle down and slowly the end was coming into sight.

Julia's parents had just proved that they weren't fit parents; there would be no point of family court. And if they were smart they would take a deal to keep out of criminal court; the family would want this as the media would slaughter them.

She knew what it was to walk through court, had done it once, and she could do it again.


	17. Chapter 17

This was the second time she walked into the squad with two young children attached to her; she understood why Elliot hated bringing his kids to work now. There was so much darkness and horror seen in this room; and today was no exception.

Munch was at his desk, as were both Amaro and Rollins; Fin headed towards his as she headed for her own. Settling Julia in the chair she held Maggie, she needed Julia to talk to Fin while she talked to her Captain.

She glanced to Fin who nodded, she knelt to talk to the little girl keeping a close watch on her. "Julia I need you to talk to Fin about what you saw okay honey. You aren't in trouble he just needs to know what happened. I'm going to talk to my friend for a moment; if you want I can ask Melinda to sit with you."

"Why can't you sit with me?" Julia looked up at her with big eyes that could melt any heart.

"I need to talk to someone honey and I was there to so I need to talk to someone about it too. I'll be right through there okay; you are safe here." She pointed towards the office off the bull pen.

"Okay." Julia nodded, looking up at her a moment longer before looking to Fin; it was a small consolation that the child knew him.

She watched for a moment, rocking the baby on her hip; Julia wasn't happy but she was trying to be brave; Fin would take care of her. Olivia moved towards the Captain's office and knocked softly before opening the door to see three people in the room; Cragen, Huang and Donnelly. She wasn't sure she was in the mood for all of them.

"Olivia, how are you doing?" Huang spoke first, his posture relaxed even as she knew he was analyzing her.

"I've been better, didn't realize how hard it was to have a useless arm." While she could make it move it couldn't support any weight, a flesh wound was still miserable.

"How is Julia doing?" His head cocked slightly, he had already profiled her. "I could talk to her if you like."

"She is coping, it might be good; I need to sit down with her and I know it." She sighed bouncing Maggie a little as the baby gurgled a little.

"You are coping as well and recognizing that is the first step. Seeing as there is some good news for you as well I'll speak to her when Fin is done." He was leaving already, and she turned her attention to the other two people in the room.

"Honestly Olivia, is there anything we can do to help?" Cragen reiterated the same question; she hated people pitying her.

"No we are doing well, staying at Melinda's until I get the apartment put back together; I'm hoping the end is coming." She sighed, she needed to know where she stood on the custody end of things; it would bring the end into sight.

"Good, you will be glad to know the DA feels it will be open and closed; there is at this time little discussion of a deal. A lot of people want to take Dennis Dysvoln taken to trial to serve the full sentence but your input will be considered, it a slam dunk if you want to go through with it." Cragen spoke calmly, but his eyes told her he was one of the ones who wanted to see the man serving the full sentence.

"There is no custody battle, Olivia they are wards of the state after their father's crime. The family wants this done and closed. I've filed your papers, the general wait period can be weeks but I've asked a friend to review it and rule within forty-eight hours; we are into the last twenty four.

"It isn't a concern, we don't want to have to deal with an appeal of the decision so making the requests for all documentation is important; no holes to crawl through. So far family has not spoken up with any alternatives and CAS has spoken in your defense; it's just details. I will be able to hand you final papers soon." Elizabeth Donnelly spoke; she seemed to have her composure completely under control while her eyes told the story.

"Thank you, I honestly have no interest in taking this to court. I want to see them go to court for abuse, neglect and endangerment but not on my account. Give him a deal on breaking and entering and the assault but none on the girls'; this will evidently tie in but I don't need it."

"We'll nail them to the wall, I'm going to sit second chair. Olivia we won't offer them a good deal on your count either." There was a fire in her eye, she was fighting back and that was reassuring; Elizabeth was good at what she did.

"Okay, Cragen I need to give a statement and then I want to get out of here; I am assuming the Dysvolns are instituting their right to due process. I want the court dates." She focused on her boss, he was also her friend; but he had insight she wanted.

"I'd like to speak to you before you go, or later but please don't avoid me." Elizabeth gripped the arm that was cradling Maggie for a moment before slipping out.

For a moment both cops were silent, Olivia moved silently as Maggie squirmed a little bit. "Captain I want to know where the cases stand."

"We are locked on all, the parents will go to jail Olivia; no money will buy them out of this. I do expect it to be a dirty fight though; they are keeping their attorney. The custody battle has been deemed lost but they are facing a list of criminal charges. Neither will get a deal that will see them free again; no matter what you choose.

"We don't know that we will pin the boy's case right now but Donnelly has listed off plenty on the parents; some of it is circumstantial. Most of it is rock solid; the hits will be listed with the case against the kids; retaliation and a second count of endangerment." He leaned against the desk, she knew he wanted to tell her it would be alright but she knew it would still take time.

"Attorney making noises about dates?"

"Yes, but he wants his client out of the hospital first. We still have a couple weeks; you will have undisputed custody of the girls and with how Elizabeth is on this likely the adoption papers. Have you considered asking Julia if she remembers her brother?"

"No, and in the middle of this I don't know that I want to. I'd much rather confront that when her mother and father are behind bars for the rest of their natural lives."

"Honestly looking in on this I'd rather the son of a bitch was in the ground; both of them for that matter. Olivia they don't have to deal down on the B and E or the assault; we are going for attempted murder as well. They aren't career criminals and are delusional enough to believe their money will buy them off; they've left a very clear trail.

"Let the DA's office hit them hard for you, it will send them away before they even look to our criminal case gets there. We barely need testimony on anything with the money trails and trace. Hit them with it." She sighed as he stepped forward; many would share his opinion.

"I don't need them to pay for what they did to me because while I hate them they gave me my family; they need to pay for what they did to these beautiful little girls. I wish I'd killed both of them rather than two hired guns." She shifted and felt her shoulder scream but it didn't matter.

"You don't need them to, but they still could and in my mind should."

"Captain a lot of people are doing a lot of things to help me and I truly do appreciate it but I need to move on with my life; not only for myself either. I'm not on my own anymore, holding a baby that is making my arm cramp is reminding me of that.

"This needs to be history, I need to build a life where there is school, work and play grounds. My job, I am thankful for the review spot but it still needs to be put away at times. This needs to be put away, I want to move home, Julia asked me today if she could go to her room; she knows it is her spot.

"I appreciate your concern, I truly do but it just doesn't matter. I do however need a few more days before I set up to work at home; I still report to you." Olivia looked down at Maggie in her arms; this little girl had to be her reason to move forward.

"Take the time you need, there is no question there; the brass wouldn't dare. But when you are ready to talk Olivia please come, or when you need help with anything just ask." She nodded, she cared about his opinion but she cared about two little girls who had dealt with enough.

"Thank you." And she truly meant it.

She sat across from him and gave her statement of the day before as he recorded. It was mostly useless, she had been running on adrenaline and what was happening hadn't mattered; it was blurry at best.

Ten minutes later she stepped out of the office to see Melinda sitting on one side of Julia and Huang on the other. The psychiatrist stood and moved towards her; another conversation before she could get out of here.

"Your take on her would be?" Olivia fought to keep her tone friendly, she was done for the day; she wanted to get out of here.

"She is playing off of you, for the first time in her life she has found someone to ground her. Everything has upset her sense of balance, she wasn't used to love and you gave it to her; then you got hurt. She sees herself as the cause of that.

"It will take time for her to accept that things aren't her fault, it will also take stability; give it to her. And take it for yourself, if you give yourself time to heal it will help her do the same. It will be a long road Olivia." He eyed her for a long moment before heading back towards Cragen's office.

She looked to where Julia sat, the child was watching her again; it was time to go home. Walking to what was still her desk, and as far as she was concerned always would be she handed Maggie to her big sister. "We will go home soon sweetie, I need to talk to one more person."

"Okay." Julia turned her attention to the baby she cuddled.

With a sigh she looked for Donnelly; the last person she needed to talk to before going home. Stepping out into the hall she found the judge, she was on her phone. She waited, the woman nodded in her direction; it was a moment before the phone was put away.


	18. Chapter 18

"I'd rather not talk about some of this here; I am though thrilled to tell you the Judge is signing off on your paperwork after lunch; all the documentation came in. I'll go down to the courthouse and shift the adoption paperwork; he will sign that today as well.

"I sent your medical record and he has agreed that you have put enough on the line for the girls; you will have the same probation period as is standard. But they are yours; if you want I'll file the paperwork to change their names under my docket; that is not a conflict of interest once the adoption is finalized. I'll sign off on that as soon as I have the adoption papers in hand and you will have everything tonight." Elizabeth spoke with a grin, and she felt excitement well up inside her; the first good news in days.

"Thank you that means a lot; wow." She felt herself tearing it up, she had been denied adoption before and now in a matter of two days was approved and it was closed. "Thank you."

"I owe you my life twice over now Olivia; I'm glad to help. Are you still going to be staying at Melinda's?" The woman had stepped closer and Olivia reached out for her with her good arm; it was an awkward hug but it meant enough.

"Yes I am, there is a price to change their names right?" It was incredibly fast, a dream; she felt like she was dreaming.

"No, not for you." She opened her mouth to argue and was shushed like a child. "Let me take care of it, trust me it is not even worth arguing about it."

She nodded and the finger was moved from her lips. "Never do that again."

"I'll see you tonight." Elizabeth turned bag swinging on her hip, the woman headed back to her comfort zone and area of expertise.

Olivia took a moment to compose herself, she wanted to tell Julia first and do it privately; and then her friends could know. No matter how much she wanted to celebrate, she wanted to hug her daughters first.

Keeping herself controlled she went to her desk and scooped Maggie out of Julia's arms. "We are going to go now Julia."

The little girl jumped up and took hold of her pant leg; walking out beside her. Melinda followed a step behind. "What's wrong Olivia?"

"Nothing." She answered quickly, easing Maggie into the baby seat before relinquishing it to her friend who had two hands to fasten the belt; she needed a pain killer.

The relief had given way to a release of tension that seemed to equate to finally feeling pain again. The ride home was again silent, she knew Melinda was studying her; Julia was too. Every time she glanced back a shot of energy ran through her; it was time to put her life back together.

They went into the house and Melinda took Maggie to the living room; the baby was sleeping. She took Julia to the room she was staying in; her heart was pounding. "Come sit Julia."

She gestured to a spot next to her and Julia took it; she knew there was fear in the girl's movements. "Are you mad Olivia?"

"No, sweetie I've got some good news." She sighed, wrapping an arm around the girl; she wasn't worried about whether or not the girl was comfortable; she needed it. "The last couple days have been rough. Julia you know your parents aren't good people and you will never live with them again."

She broke off for a moment; it was such a strange thing to say. Julia however was filling in her own blanks. "I can't stay with you?"

"No sweetie that's not it, that's not it at all. I'm sorry honey. I didn't know my dad growing up and I always thought my life might have been better if I had; I thought about having a family but kept putting it off." She broke off; this was not going right at all.

"Julia I hate your parents, you would go back to them over my dead body. What happened at our home last night was scary but that is still our home and we will go back there. That was a choice your parents made but they don't make the choices for you anymore.

"I do, and I am glad that they made the choices they made; I hate that they hurt you. But what they did made it so that it was very easy for me to get custody of you and that means you get to stay with me. Because of how your parents acted the court gets to decide where you live and they decided that you and Maggie could live with me." She paused, the little girl was looking at her with huge blue eyes; this life was forever tied to hers.

"The lady who stayed with us is a lawyer and she has helped me with getting people to let me call you mine. As far as anyone knows you are my daughter now, your parents have no right to you or control over you anymore. We are going to change your name."

"Why?" Julia was watching her carefully; she knew the kid was confused.

"Because you are going to take my name, you are Julia Benson; and I'm your mom." Tears were coming into her eyes now as she looked down into blue eyes; this was real. It was real and it was permanent, no one was going to hurt this child again; they had to get through her first.

"Maggie too?" Julia's eyes were like dinner plates.

"Maggie too. You and Maggie are mine; we're a family now." She exhaled a shaky breath, tears were going to roll down her cheeks the same as they were rolling down Julia's now.

The little girl curled into her and Olivia held her there; this was right. She dropped her cheek to Julia's hair, this little girl was hers and she had to adjust; there was a baby in the deal to. Right now she wanted to stay right here; this was good.

They sat twisted together for a long time; eventually she realized Julia had fallen asleep. Easing the child down onto the bed she slipped from the room to find Melinda sitting at the kitchen table.

"You look wrung out, ready to tell me what you were told at the precinct?"

She glanced quizzically at Melinda, the woman tilted her head, Maggie was sleeping in a blanket on the arm chair; two pillows blocked her into a makeshift crib. "Julia's sleeping I'll just put her in the playpen."

"She's fine where she is, Olivia, what changed?" Her friend was not going to give up.

"Donnelly pushed the paperwork through; she's bringing the papers over tonight." Saying it made her shake, Melinda's eyebrows skyrocketed and Olivia found herself laughing; it was so crazy.

"Wow, congratulation; that's amazing Liv." Melinda stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her; Olivia just held on.

"I feel so off kilter right now." She held on, Melinda wasn't concerned about hurting her and that meant a lot; she needed that to ground her.

"I know, trust me kids do that, and they will do it a thousand times over." Melinda laughed with her, it was good to celebrate. "So who else knows?"

"Julia, I needed to tell her first; Donnelly told me just before we left. I guess I better let everybody else know but I want the papers in my hands first." She pulled back finally, pulling herself together. "She is going to put the papers through to change their names too."

"Good, they deserve that; and so do you." It helped to hear someone else agree with her; without considering it.

"I need to put the apartment back together and get them home; set up a routine."

"And find a school, and help Julia adjust and the list will go on. Take it one step at a time; your welcome here as long as you need. Stay at least until Fin gets your apartment put back together; it will take a couple days." Melinda laughed at her, maybe she was over eager but it was sinking in. "You are also forgetting about that shoulder and the bruises all over your body. I want to look at that shoulder again by the way."

"I need to take a pain killer to; I was going to do that when we got back…"

"But you got distracted; it's amazing what emotion can hide." Melinda handed her the prescription, with a smile.

"Yeah well it was kind of important."

"So is taking the time to rest your shoulder, if I didn't think you would have left AMA I would have left you another day. If you strain it too much you are going to damage it permanently. You still have a while to drag Maggie around on your hip." She nodded at her friend's warning, Melinda was right; her body hated her.

"I think I'm going to lay down for a little while, before the drugs drop me on my ass." She felt destroyed; she could have happily crawled in next to Julia.

"Good." She looked back to see the doctor shaking her head; she went upstairs and crawled into the bed.

It was frustrating that the morning had taken all of her energy; it was a sign her body was weak. But she fell into the bed and was out like a light. It was late afternoon when she woke, she wasn't sure exactly what woke her but she realized soon enough; someone was in the room.

Sitting up she found Judge Donnelly in the doorway, embarrassment heated her cheeks. "Sorry."

"It's okay Olivia, I wanted to bring by the paperwork; it's all in order." Elizabeth Donnelly moved through the room easily, sitting on the end of the bed even as she fumbled to the edge.

"Thank you. Wow, it doesn't even seem real yet." She sighed, taking the thick file of papers.

"Have you spoken to Julia about it?"

"Yes, I told her but I don't know if she fully believes it yet; or understands it." She smiled, thinking of saucer sized blue eyes that had stared back at her as the little girl tried to understand.

"That's the first step then, Olivia I am really sorry you got hurt; I wish I'd helped in some way. That the kids…"

"Liz, you did what you needed to do and I really appreciate what you've done with this." She lifted the file. "It wasn't your place, and Julia didn't know you well enough to go with you; I don't know what she would have done if you tried to force her.

"They came to my home for me, not for you; I don't even know that they ever knew you were there. And that was my kind of stress, you can deal with politics and decisions where I hate them; I'll take a fight any day." She understood the fear the woman felt, it was the same that gnawed at her; that she saw in Julia's eyes.

"I froze and there were two little girls in that room and I hate myself for that." The woman's voice cracked, and Olivia felt for her.

"I'll tell you to stop but it's a choice you have to make. You've done a lot of things that have really helped, and I appreciate that; a lot. And don't worry about the girls going into their own hole to hide. All Julia has known is to protect Maggie; I think it might have been her will to live." She smiled as she thought of the small child who held so fiercely to a baby the way most her age clung to a doll.

Julia knew great pain and great responsibility; someone had kept that infant alive. And someone had the welts of a belt on her back, where the baby still had shreds of innocence. If Julia was backed into a corner she had no doubt the child would fight tooth, nail and dirty as the need be.

"I'm still sorry and I do wish I reacted different but I am truly thankful that you took me in; I don't handle that kind of stress well. If there is anything you need please ask." Elizabeth took her hand and Olivia sighed; people all followed the same script.

"The next person who says that is getting slugged with my good arm; it might have been handy if they put me in a cast. I'll be fine, so will the girls; consider us even. I got turned down for adoption before and the legalese crap would have taken me months to wade through." Hopefully the pity party would end soon; she was ready to put it behind her.

"Alright, I'll see you later Olivia; hopefully we can keep the need for you and Julia at the trial minimal." Elizabeth stood, she watched her go; the woman paused at the door for a moment before leaving.

Olivia looked down to the paperwork in her hands; this meant that the state of New York recognized Julia and Maggie as her children; it was unbelievable. It was so easy where when she had tried it on her own it had been impossible; it hadn't been right then as it was now.


	19. Chapter 19

She woke alone; Olivia had been there when she fell asleep. Getting up she wandered out of the room, Olivia's friend sat on the couch holding. Her sister was gurgling and holding the woman's finger; Maggie was Olivia's now. And so was she, but Julia wasn't sure what that meant.

Olivia was so nice and so were her friends; it was confusing. She stood in the doorway for a moment before the woman looked up at her. "Come here Julia, do you want to hold your sister?"

She nodded and climbed onto the couch, sitting back into the soft cushion; Maggie was placed in her lap. Her sister immediately reached for her hair and she smiled; Maggie was always the same. Her baby cuddled into her, she was learning so much; and she was a little chubbier.

"Did you have a good nap?" The woman sat next to her, a hand moved to her shoulder; she flinched away. And then sat back, letting the woman put a hand on her; Olivia trusted her. She nodded.

Now though people talked to her a lot, they were all Olivia's friends; at least they said they were. Some she was sure were, Melinda was and she was nice; she let them stay with her. Fin was too, Olivia trusted him and he wanted to help her; Olivia was important to him.

Her parent's friends never wanted her to speak; her parents didn't want her to speak at all for that matter. But now they weren't her parents didn't matter; Olivia was her parent now. It seemed weird and too good, Olivia didn't hurt anybody and she had made her a room all of her own.

"Um, Olivia adoted, does that mean she is my mom?" She looked up at the woman.

"Yes, Olivia is your mom and always will be; she loves you and Maggie."

"Then do I have a dad?" She didn't like her dad and Olivia had said she really didn't like him. Maybe it was Fin, he was nice; plus he didn't live with Olivia.

"No."

"Do I need a dad? Does Maggie?" She would be okay with just Olivia, so would Maggie.

"No, but if Olivia met someone special and decided to make him your dad she would make sure you like him first. But if she ever introduced you to someone it would be someone very important to her." The woman looked at her with very serious eyes; it meant she had to be nice to Olivia's friends.

"Do I call her mom now?" She wasn't sure how to address someone all the time. Her mom never wanted to talk to her, and she was happiest not talking to her.

"I think she would like that." She nodded as the woman smiled at her.

"Where is Olivia?"

"She went to lie down for a little while, her shoulder is still sore. Someone came to see her so why don't we stay downstairs; would you like to watch a movie? My daughter liked movies so I think we have a few around."

"I haven't watched movies."

"Well how about I pick one and we will watch it do you like cats?"

"They are pretty."

"I have a good movie then, stay put." The woman stood and moved towards a tall shelf; pulling something off the shelf. "This is the Aristo cats, it's pretty funny."

"Okay." She turned Maggie on her lap, and pulled a strand of her hair from her sister's fingers; she didn't know if Maggie could see it or not.


	20. Chapter 20

Olivia stared into her apartment, newly renovated and refurnished; there was a past here. She would not soon forget what had happened here, she had killed here; with children in the next room. Silently she strode through the room, you couldn't tell anymore that anything had happened; Fin had put in a lot of work to make it seem new.

It was nicer than when she'd bought the place as an interim, until she settled down; but that had never happened and she'd stayed. Now it was home, it was here she was to settle. The girl's room set up to be shared in a few years, Maggie's crib still in her room. Everything fresh with new paint and carpet where her blood had soaked the floor.

The kitchen had been opened up more, they had an island as a table with stools around it and a high chair. Taking a deep breath Olivia pushed it out and stepped into her room. Fin had outdone himself, the room doubled as her office and he'd set up a work corner with a desk and shelves for her books and printer. A safe for the cases she reviewed, on the opposite side of the room from the crib where Maggie would sleep until she was old enough to share with Julia.

This was home now, it had been before but it was even more so now. Now that by all legal means the girls were hers, they could never be hers in blood but that mattered very little to Olivia. The only concern of blood was their parents and the upcoming criminal trial; it would be a long time before it was over. And longer still for the scars those people left to heal completely; the physical ones would heal long before the emotional.

There was a hard road ahead for two little girls, she hoped they would accept her as their mother, and let her be their armor. No child should have fought as Julia had for her sister, no mother should have been able to harm the life that had come from her body. Yet Olivia knew her own mother had, thousands of mothers had; and always would.

And still thousands survived, and that was what she had to teach these girls; to survive and to be open to love again. That was something she struggled with constantly, and yet with two little girls it had come so naturally. Dropping onto her bed Olivia knew it was time to come home, she had to build a stable life here now; it was past time.

The new locks had been put in along with a new door and Olivia pulled it shut behind her and heard the lock click; it was comforting. Then she navigated back across town to Melinda's place, the ME had helped her out and letting them stay with her. Already having raised a child of her own Melinda was a huge help for her in getting through to Julia; not to mention a friend to the little girl.

Olivia wanted as many safe supports for the girls as possible and she trusted her friends; they were the opposite of the adults the little girl had known to this point in her life. And that was important to her, she knew the child had felt safe enough to talk to Melinda about it a little, and that the other woman knew what it was to comfort a child.

She walked in the door to find the little blond sleeping with her head in Melinda's lap. A movie was playing and she could tell that it had long since been tuned out by her colleague as she cradled the girls. One hand rested on the child's shoulder and Olivia smiled as she moved Julia's feet and sat beside her.

" How long has she been out?"

" Just a little while, she likes watching movies but she's tired. How did it go at your apartment?"

" Fin did a really good job." She sighed, it was true and she did appreciate it. " It's a lot and we need to get settled, I've got to get Julia started in kindergarten."

" Its a lot but its possible, families do it every day; you'll get it all done." Melinda gave her a reassuring smile and handed Maggie over; Olivia nuzzled her happily. " You love them Liv, you'll do whats best for them; it's hard but you can do it."

Olivia smiled a little and pulled Maggie closer still; she did love them. " It's past time they had a home."

" They have a mom now and its a start. Don't be too hard on your self Olivia. Take it one step at a time and we're all here to help you." Melinda scooped Julia up. " I'll take her up and lets pack up their stuff."

" Great, I've got to find out how to start her in school; I don't know how she'll feel about going away all day."

" It's always hard at first and then she'll make friends and be begging for sleep overs; especially when she has bunk beds until Maggie grows into them." Melinda had already started up the stairs.

" For some reason that doesn't terrify me, I'd like to see her with friends, and feeling safe with my friends."

" She's a sweet little girl and she's already got herself a hole in a lot of hearts. I'd be glad to babysit for you any time you needed as would Elizabeth or Cragen; you might ask him to be their honorary grandfather. Trust me you don't need to do it alone, you have helped each of us over the years and we will be happy to help you."

" Yeah I guess." They settled Julia in what had once been Melinda's own daughter's room and Olivia was struck with the fact that her little girls would someday have this. A room preserved from this day forward in her own home; their safe place. Where they had grown and changed to become young women, and she would have to let them go.

Shaking the thought from her head she lay Maggie near her sister and helped Melinda pick up the child's things. It was new and it was nice, they packed everything up and Melinda drove them home; the girls joined them sleepily. But when she opened the door of the apartment Julia struggled free and went to explore. Olivia smiled, she wanted the girl to feel free here, she had a long road ahead of her; this was her safe place.

Laughing Melinda set Maggie in the playpen and took the backpack to the bedroom. " Fin did a good job didn't he?"

Olivia smiled and set her own bag by her bedroom door. " Yeah, barely looks like my place anymore. Half the furniture is new, so is the floor; well it had to be. Nobody does crime scene clean up better than a cop; knows where everything will end up."

" Oh there are some other people who could do it too need be." Melinda tossed a smile over her shoulder, checking out the girls' room as Julia raced back out. " What do you think little one?"

" I like it, can we watch a movie again?"

Olivia laughed, the little kid had come so far in such a short time. " We can see whats on."

Another thing she had to get was more kid videos, it was going to take time to accumulate all the kid stuff. With Julia curled up on the couch she made a coffee for her and Melinda. " I should see about school tomorrow, do you think it will be too soon for her?"

" No, she needs a routine and it's kindergarten; it will be every other day or half days; and she'll like picking out her school stuff. Relax Liv just take it one step at a time."

" You keep telling me that."

" I told myself that for years to get through my girl." Melinda laughed. " Its normal to worry about them and want to protect them; you can only do so much. Just wait until they grow to be teenagers. Go in tomorrow take her ID and tell them you want to enroll her, explain why she didn't start on time and fill out her paperwork. They'll show you her class room and let her meet the teacher."

"Should I get her stuff before hand?"

" They'll give you a list." Melinda grinned at her as there was a knock on the door; Olivia felt herself stiffen up.

She crossed to the door to open it, glancing back at the girls before she did; she could never forget. And opened the door to see Elizabeth Donnelly. She had testified in the woman's court often enough and sought her out for warrants and advice; but in the past few weeks learned a lot more about her. And it was hard to remember not to call her judge. " Liz."

" Hey, Fin said he thought you were coming back today." She stepped back and the woman stepped in; and moved to join Melinda at the island. The ME covered her smile well but Olivia couldn't help it; life had changed a lot in a short time. " Got some news on the criminal case front and on your new job."

" I don't know how much more news I can take." Olivia joined them, she meant that.

" Relax good news all around, they fired their big shot for trying to tell them to take a plea; they were right though it wasn't a good deal. But now they are scrambling with opening statments in less than a week; a few of us decided that only so much leniency can be shown. I'm friends with Tritter, its in his court and he won't tolerate bull; you've testified for him I think."

" I know him, testified for him on homicide more than once." Melinda added. " They put a jury together fast."

" This is Manhatten, we have enough suckers who think jury duty is fun all we have to do is send out the damn letters and see who turns up. ADA pretty much got her pick, their defense was still pushing a bad deal. Tritter says one guy was practically bouncing in excitement." Elizabeth rolled her eyes; Olivia tended to agree.

" They have no idea what they are going to hear, or see; Julia's back is still healing. It was worse when they took the pictures but the scars." She murmured softly, glancing at the little girl who curled into the couch to watch a cartooned cat break out of its home. " No idea."

" She doesn't have to go on the stand, the evidence speaks for its self. Olivia you can tell them no, it doesn't matter; I'll tell them no. She's a minor she can't be subpenaed and if they try I'll give it to them letter and verse." She caught Elizabeth's eyes track over the little blonde too; it was good to have her in their camp.

" I just want her to settle into a normal life, I want to get her in school and activities away from all of this. If I could take away the last four years of her life I would; hell I'd live them myself if it'd mean she didn't have to. Her back is only starting to scar up but if its splashed all over the news anymore..."

" I've looked at her back, she's healing well, keeping her clean has taken care of the most recent wounds and giving her a place to be free has done wonders. Olivia she is going to go to school with other four year-olds, she is a sweet kid and she'll make friends. You don't have to broadcast it but if someone asks be open about it; and tell them flat out to come to you with their concerns. She isn't responsible for the actions of her parents and a child her age, who protected her baby sister; it isn't likely anyone would dare try."

" And if they do I can find a way to make their life miserable. All I'd need is a name." That made them all laugh a little, though it was probably meant in all seriousness.

" I can handle it. I think, I hope."

" When are you going to enroll her?"

" I'm going to take her down tomorrow but if she gets upset I'll put it off. I want her to be comfortable where ever she is, it isn't like with any other kid who is afraid of being hurt or left alone; it's been reality for her."

" Spoken like a true mother." Melinda squeezed her arm.

" I agree with her, but do you need someone to watch Maggie? That way you can focus on Julia." Elizabeth asked, her face calm and collected as if the idea of babysitting wasn't the least bit concerning. " I don't have anything on my docket and paperwork can always wait."


	21. Chapter 21

Olivia hesitated, there was something strange about seeing Elizabeth Donelly sitting cross-legged on the floor with a baby in her lap. Julia held her hand tightly as Olivia paused in the doorway. They'd discussed going to school last night, the little girl wasn't sure about it. But she blew a kiss to her sister and let Olivia lead her out the door.

She had all the paperwork from the adoption with her, as well as the public records of the girl's birth; the family hadn't turned over originals. Elizabeth had authenticated them just to be safe, she wasn't sure exactly what they'd need. But they made the walk three blocks to the school, it wasn't too bad Olivia decided; she'd soon have to make it twice a day.

They stepped through the front doors and Julia curled behind her leg, unsure of her new surroundings. She glanced at the sign for the office and reminded herself she wasn't on the job, and then smiled at the secretary; trying to maneuver Julia in front of her. The woman gave her a warm smile and stood to peek over the desk to see Julia still with an arm wrapped around her leg and her cheek pressed into her thigh; sneaking glances.

" Hi, I gotta get her registered for kindergarten." The woman smiled and nodded, then stood and rounded the desk.

" Ms Warboys, and you would be?"

Olivia shook the hand offered to her. " Olivia Benson and Julia Benson, we just had the adoption finalized so she has a bit of paperwork."

The woman only nodded, held out a hand and Olivia handed over the file. There was silence for a moment as a form appeared and notes were made, then the woman's glance flickered back to hers. " How is she doing?"

" Well, she hasn't attended school before." She saw the recognition, seeing Julia's previous name had probably done it. " She's adjusting well."

" Fair enough, I'll just make a note so that her teacher is aware; in case a situation frightens her. Your contact info?"

Olivia recited it easily, she realized it probably was good that the school knew Julia's history; but she wasn't sure she liked that it was a note in her file. But for the time being she'd leave it, Julia would have tells and it would be better that they know they were from a past situation rather than have the teacher's concerns raised.

" And any emergency contacts, in case we can't reach you?" Olivia hesitated, she hadn't asked anyone permission to give that out.

" Can I get back to you on that?" The woman nodded and smiled again, glancing back at Julia who had crept behind Olivia's leg and had her fingers laced in her belt loops; still sneaking looks. The kid was smart, she'd got herself trapped between the wall and a shield; she could look around without being seen easily.

" How about we go and see the class room and meet the teacher? Julia will be put in our JK class, her teacher will be Ms Cass, and she'll attend school everyday and go home by lunch time. How does that sound?"

Julia nodded against her leg and Olivia reached down, pulling the girl onto her hip. Putting her in plain view and letting her see where they were going; she could hide her face as she wished. They walked down the hall to a door decorated with a smiling cat mural. They stepped into a room designed for kids, with small chairs and low tables painted in bright colors, Julia looked around curiously.

" This is her classroom, the JK class has gym this morning; I'll go see if someone can watch her class so she can come meet you. Please look around."  
The secretary left them and Olivia tried to set Julia down.

The little girl hung on. " No."

" Okay." She wandered around the room with the child on her hip; Julia looked around curiously.

She turned as the door opened again, a young woman had walked in with vibrant red curls and bright green eyes. " Hi, I'm Ms Cass, are you Julia?"

The woman made instant contact with Julia who hid her face for a moment and then peaked; the teacher was still leaned in waiting for a response. " Julia's a little shy."

" That's okay, we all are sometimes. This is your first school right? Would you like a list of things to get?" The question was still directed at Julia even though Olivia nodded and the woman turned and practically bounced towards the desk; it probably took a lot of energy to keep up with a group of four-year olds.

" So we have a really small class, our morning class is smaller right now so she'll join it. There is sixteen kids in it, she'll stay with the same class this year and next; then in grade one there may be some shuffling but usually we try to keep classes together as much as possible. We don't want to put friends in different classes." The woman handed her a piece of bright blue paper with a colorful list of school supplies; geared to kids.

" Every class in the primary division has a pet, we have two hamsters. Bip and Bop, Bop is your class'. He is the brown one." They were led towards a cage with a white and brown hamster. " We take turns taking them home each weekend and ask for a volunteer over holidays. This year we don't have a lot of parents game to take them home so if you want to sign up your mom has to fill out a form."

Julia looked at them curiously and stretched her legs to get down, Olivia smiled and let the girl down; she was interested in the animals. " I think I'll be filling that out."

" No problem, it just says your willing and will be able to pick Julia up from school on days you take them home and bring her the day you bring them back. We'll send you with food and bedding." The teacher explained, still practically bouncing.

" No problem." She was handed another form, scanned it and signed; her building had always allowed pets and these were at least temporary. She wasn't sure she could commit to a full-time one.

" We do lots of crafts and stories, it will be hard at first but she'll make friends fast." The woman reassured her quickly and then turned to Julia. " How about we put your name on a cubby?"

Julia followed behind Olivia as the walked to the back of the room and the cubbies, a bright yellow sticker was above one and the teacher wrote 'Julia' on it in big block letters. " Do you know how to print your name Julia?"

The little girl shook her head. " That's okay we'll get you a letter book. Would you like to take it home today?"

Julia looked to Olivia and she nodded. It seemed everything to do with kindergarten came in bright colors as a pink book was produced and handed to Julia who took it with a shy smile. " Thank you."

Olivia took a moment to text both Elizabeth and Melinda; hoping one of them would get back to her quickly. They took a tour of the school, and playground and met the principal; Julia kept her fingers in Olivia's pocket most of the time. Both women texted her back before they left; both agreeing eagerly to be ECs.

She gave the school the information and Ms Cass saw them out; telling Julia she looked forward to seeing her. Julia started school in the morning. They walked to the store and Olivia tried to get advice on school supplies. They left with a new back pack, matching pencil-case and lunch bag, for snacks Julia was willing to pick out, as well as indoor shoes, crayons and pencils.

Olivia carried the bags and Julia walked beside her; holding her hand. " Do you want to go tomorrow?"

Julia nodded quietly. " I have to don't I?"

" I want you to try to go, I think you'll make lots of friends."She smiled as the little girl just nodded again.

" I get to come home for lunch?"

" Yes, you will be home to have lunch with me and Maggie everyday."

" We get to bring Bop home sometimes?"

" Sometimes." She wasn't sure what it would be like to have a hamster, she'd have to keep it in its cage; there'd be a mutiny if it escaped. " We'll take turns with all your class mates."

" Okay." Olivia wondered how long it would be before Julia wanted a pet of her own; a fish might be okay, they didn't need a lot of care.

They got back to the apartment building and Julia perked up a little bouncing up the steps, Olivia just watched and thought people were right; kids were resilient. Julia knew where she was comfortable and where she was safe; it just took a little bit of time. By the time she made it up the stairs and put everything on the counter Julia was sitting on the couch behind Elizabeth's head; telling her about the morning.

Maggie was snuggled happily in the older woman's arms gnawing on a plastic ring of some kind that changed colors; it was something for teething. She listened as the child told the judge about the hamster; which seemed to be the highlight of the trip. After a moment the baby was transferred to Julia's lap and Elizabeth pushed herself up slowly; Olivia winced.

She put stuff away as the woman joined her. " I take it she's only going back to see the hamster?"

" I think that's the main attraction."

" I give it two months before you have one too." Elizabeth laughed and Olivia rolled her eyes.

" I'm thinking fish first, they're easy to take care of and can't escape to get lost somewhere." She put the snacks in the cupboard and set the lunch bag in the corner. " How was Maggie this morning?"

" Good, she's a sweet baby; tiny though for almost a year."

" Ten months isn't a year but I think she has been delayed a bit the doctor says she fine; just small. And with a good diet she'll pick up fast. She really likes attention though."

" Can't blame her, doubt they gave her any; other than hurting her anyways. Think Julia will make it through her first day?"

Olivia glanced at the girls. " Yeah. I do, but maybe just on sheer will. She really tries to make people happy with her."

" Probably a good way to avoid getting hit."

" They put a note about her history in her file. I'm going to leave it for now but later I want it removed."

" You put in the request they can't keep it; might put it on file for a guidance counsellor though but every teacher doesn't need to know." Olivia nodded, hopefully with enough love Julia wouldn't struggle too much with her childhood. " I do need to talk to you about work though, it slipped my mind last night."

" Okay." Olivia raised her eyebrows.

" I got assigned to you, you review the cases and after they go through the investigation they'll come to me for final review and recommendation to the board. I'll select the sets of cases you get, you won't testify in my court but I may retry some of the cases if evidence is found to exonerate a person previously charged; I won't be trying SVU cases anymore. Took the assignment to the review committee. I meant to give these to you last night." A pack of files were set on the counter for her.

Olivia nodded and scooped them up, she wouldn't mind working with Elizabeth, she knew the judge was fair and knew all the loopholes there were to find. Not to mention she also knew how horrific the cases could be; she wouldn't be breaking someone in. " Alright. So when do I call you?"

" When ever you want something retested or have another possible suspect; anything that doesn't line up. I need to know what it is and who handled the cases; we've got cases from all five boroughs. There's a couple other detectives being shuffled into it but they have to do some training first; haven't worked SVU. So for a while you're all we've got on it."

" And with how many years to go back?"

" We are only doing ones with a con incarcerated and alive. If something is brought to be appealed by someone who has been released it will still be handled by the unit. It's a pilot program so it'll be touch and go."

" So I'm the lab rat."

" Don't worry I won't let it blow up on you if they decide it won't work." They both laughed, but Olivia knew it was true. " Just don't screw up."

" I'm not usually a loose cannon. I've made mistakes but I'll own them; don't like to make them in the first place."

" And that's why you got the job."

Olivia nodded and handed the woman a cup of coffee and took her own the joined the girls on the couch. " I'll get started on those after I drop Julia off tomorrow."

" Don't forget to keep them locked, I really don't care if they're secured for crap reasons but they...don't need to see them." She nodded towards the kids between them and Olivia nodded; she'd have them locked up before the judge left and when she wasn't working on them. There was no way she'd let Julia stumble on some of those images; she'd seen enough to haunt her dreams for life.


	22. Chapter 22

It had been a long day with the school and the first babysitting deal with the kids. Julia had settled in to sleep but Maggie was fussing, Olivia fumbled with a bottle as she rocked the baby; the little girl just kept crying. And she knew Julia was likely lying in her bed listening because Olivia had told her to stay there. Her phone beeped and she nearly groaned.

Grabbing the phone and the bottle she dropped onto the couch and turned the baby in her arms; trapping the phone between her shoulder and cheek. " Hey."

She aimed the bottle at the baby's mouth as the little girl fussed and showed no interest. " Hi Olivia, how'd it go at the school?"

" Good, it went well; she seemed to like it okay. Liked the class pet most of all." She smiled at Melinda's voice, and rocked the baby.

" Be careful with that, she'll end up bringing it home every week. Is that Maggie fussing?"

" Yes, she's upset tonight. I'm trying a bottle but it isn't working."

"Maybe teething or just a rough day, you left her with a new person for most of the day. Have you tried freezing her pacifier?"

" No." She eyed the little pink suck toy and then got up and tossed it in the freezer.

" Try it and try laying her on her stomach, rub her back. Just next to you on the couch, make sure she turns her face to the side."

" How the heck did you know where I was sitting?"

" Only decent place in your place to sit; you aren't trying to stand with the baby." Melinda's laugh carried through the phone as she set it aside for a moment to reposition Maggie.

With the little girl laying beside her she stroked her back gently, cries faded to whimpers almost instantly. " I hate that you can be right without even being here."

" I raised a kid already, teething happens every time. Anyways, the school? Her teacher?"

" Nice, young, and full of energy; she looks like she fits in with the kindergarteners. Lots of bright colors. I think she'll like it, it'll take time I guess; she likes the pet." Olivia glanced down at the settled baby, now that she was quiet her sister might sleep too; it was strange how easy it was to accept that this was simply her family now.

"Yeah, and you'll get very familiar with that pet Olivia. I know you, be careful you don't end up with it for the summer. I know you're going to spoil those kids."

" We'll see, but anyways I'll let her bring it home sometimes; not ready to commit to one of her own."

" We'll see." She smiled and hoped Melinda was wrong for once.

" I did the class pet thing one year, it was easier to get her one of her own. And don't you dare loose it. I guarantee you that the pet they have now probably isn't the one they started the year with; especially if its some kind of rat."

" Why is that?" She laughed at the confidence.

" They always get lost, or end up dying and get replaced; whether its at somebody's house or at the school." Melinda's voice carried a laugh but a slight warning too; apparently the pet was a precarious subject. " If you do loose it be careful about Julia know; kid will feel guilty."

" So I should live in guilt alone."

" Pretty much. So who else is her on her EC list?"

" You and Liz Donnelly, I didn't know who to ask, I just thought."

" Its no problem, they always call for stupid reasons anyway; if there's a real emergency you probably won't hear for hours. We both know how it goes."

" That's so reassuring, thanks for that." Olivia rolled her eyes, her hand still moving lightly against Maggie's back. The girls had both survived a lot, hopefully she could provide them with a safer life; they had taken more than enough. And yet the world was not a fair place, and she didn't want to know that as well as she did; consequence of the job.

" Mhm, that's life. She asleep yet?"

" Yeah, pretty well. That worked like a charm."

" Comfort thing, soothes her, she's at an age to teethe, it'll probably happen for a while and soon you'll see the little thing that's been bugging her."  
Olivia just nodded, still looking at the baby; debating whether or not to try and move her.

" Hey, so do I need to make a big deal out of first day of school tomorrow?" As Melinda had said, she'd done this before and Olivia wasn't sure.

" Depends, do you want to? Make a memory of it, take pictures to remember it; make her feel like it's special?"

" Probably but I don't want to upset her either."

" Remember she's a victim but when you made her your daughter; you proved she doesn't have to be one forever. She's a little girl who is going to follow her mother's lead, you being the mother. Make her a special breakfast and take a picture of her in her first day of school outfit, and walk her to school with her sister. Olivia, just relax and enjoy it."

" I don't want to upset her, and I might be a little distracted, Donelly dropped off the first set of cases for me to work over."

" Looked at them yet?"

" No"

" A first day of school and of work. It will be fun, anyways none of them are your old ones right?" Melinda's voice shifted slightly, they both moved into work mode a little. She eased Maggie into her arms, the baby didn't wake as she carried her to her crib and lay her down.

" Don't think so, hope not but anyways." She moved out of the room to check on Julia. " Both girls are finally asleep."

" Good, at least you are finally getting a normal challenge as a parent; two kids and bed time."

" Beats court, and custody hearings."

"Agreed, how are you feeling? Reality set in?" Her friend knew her to well, and it was a reality she had to live with and adjust to. She knew what it was to want a family but to have one; she was still learning.

" It's set in, but its not bad. I like it."

" I know. I'll probably talk to you tomorrow; if you get to the cases."

" Confident in NYPD making mistakes are you?"

" I work with a lot more detectives than you, and well, I know the reality." They both knew that reality, but until she looked at them she'd plead oblivion. " Talk to you tomorrow."

She dropped the phone and then onto her bed, it wasn't incredibly late but somehow the girls drained her energy. And morning came early, with a little girl in her bed. She rolled over and hit her alarm, then shook Julia gently. " When did you crawl in?"

" Little while ago." The little girl's eyes opened and she smiled. " I have to go to school today?"

" Yes, ready to get up? Julia nodded. " You get dressed and I'll get your breakfast, and get Maggie up."

Another nod and the child crawled out of her bed and bounced to the floor, Olivia sat up and smiled; at least there wasn't tears. Pulling a sweat shirt over her tank she slipped into a pair of jeans and then scooped up Maggie, who was still sleepy, the little girl made soft noises as she was changed and dressed. Finally blue eyes looked at her clearly, just for a moment before the girl gurgled and then whimpered.

Cradling the girl against her shoulder she went to the kitchen, got the pacifier from the freezer and set it on the counter. Maggie sat in her high chair and Olivia began making breakfast for Julia, setting a bottle in the sink and filling it with warm water. Then she started her coffee, she needed it; today was going to be busy.

Half an hour later both kid were fed, Maggie was sucking on the cold toy and content, Julia cuddled her as Olivia grabbed her coat and checked the girl's back pack one more time. " Go get your coat Julia, I'll get Maggie."

She tucked the little girl into the tiny jacket as Julia reappeared with her jacket. Settling the baby on her hip she let Julia lead the way down the stairs. The kid walked beside her all the way, until they got into the yard, and a small hand slid into her as the child began to hang back.

" Its okay Julia, I'll be back at lunch time to pick you up okay?" Julia kept walking but a nervous hand played with her blonde braid as Olivia opened the door to the front hall.

A silent nod, and they stepped through; the teacher was there and instantly crouched down to Julia's level; asking if she wanted to see the animal again. With a nervous nod Julia glanced up at her before switching her hand for the young woman's. Olivia watched as the little girl walked away, her braid hanging down her back; she felt her own heart clench.

Even as she walked home with Maggie in her arms a part of her heart felt hollow; as if it had been nearly five years she'd waited for this day. In reality it was only a matter of months that she'd known the girl, and a few weeks that she'd considered leaving the little girl at school. The baby squirmed, and she smiled; cooing at the girl.

Blue eyes gleamed as she shifted the child on her hip to unlock the door again, Maggie tangled a hand in her hair. Telling the little girl 'no' she tried to pull the little hand out of her hair before it got ripped from her scalp. She set the little girl on the floor, popped the pacifier out of her mouth with an unhappy cry from the baby and put it back in the freezer.

The little girl rolled onto her stomach, pushed herself back onto her knees and slowly up to her hands then scooted herself over to the table and snagged a toy that had been left half under it. Olivia smirked and poured herself a cup of coffee, and a little bottle of juice out of the fridge. She left the door open and opened the safe in her bedroom and took the summary of the cases from the top.

Back in the living room she spread it over the table and began to read through the set; keeping an eye on her coffee and the toddler. When the little one got restless she got the juice and scooped Maggie into her lap. It seemed quiet without Julia there too, and still it was strange that this was her life now. Two kids and an at home job, Munch and Fin probably had a bet running for how long before she begged for a rotation shift; which would mean finding 12 hour child care.


	23. Chapter 23

Julia was sitting on the step with two other girls, the young teacher stood up one more step; Olivia saw that her attention was mostly on a group of boys considering sneaking off. She smirked slightly, and shifted Maggie on her hip; then saw Julia notice them. The little girl bounced up and took two steps towards her then paused and glanced at the teacher.

She nodded to the teacher and waited for the woman to meet her eyes. A quick wave was all she got before the woman strode towards the kids sneaking towards the fence. " You should talk to them. They're bad, you should tell them you're a cop so they stop being bad for Ms Cass."

She smirked, the teacher had caught them quick enough. " Do you think it would help?"

Julia nodded confidently and Olivia realized she was now part of the show off the parent routine she'd teased her old partner about for years. " Do you have your badge?"

" Not right now, I'm not on duty."

" You could just tell them." Julia's was tugging Maggie from her hip, the toddler was reaching for her sister.

Olivia relinquished her to the kid and walked up the steps to get Julia's backpack and glanced at the two boys who now sat in front of her looking rather glum. " Trouble?"

" No, they're just energetic, afternoon class." The teacher smiled at the two boys. " I think she had a good first day, please let me know if she expresses any concerns to you."

Olivia nodded and walked back to the girls and scooped Julia up with her sister in arms. " Ready?"

The little girl nodded, and carried the girls back towards the apartment. " How was school?"

" I have homework." Julia said seriously.

" You get homework in kindergarten?" That meant she was supposed to know how to help with it. Julia smiled and nodded.

They squirmed and the two kids curled against her as she took the stairs, finally unlocking her door and crossing to deposit them on the couch. She slung Julia's bag beside them and extracted Maggie, setting her back on the floor.

" How about some lunch before homework?" Then she'd have to get Maggie down for a nap and maybe a little more work on the reviews.

Julia nodded and bounced off the couch to shadow her to the kitchen. " Can we make cookies?"

" How about some healthy stuff first and we both do a little bit of work." She had to check and see if they had the stuff for making cookies anyways; it was becoming a favorite activity.

" Cookies can be healthy."

She smiled. " How is that?"

" You can put healthy stuff in them." Julia had her nose in the fridge, considering the options. " Apples are healthy."

" Do you want apples in cookies?"

" Guess not."

" We will see about making a treat for a snack this afternoon. Want to stir this?" She dumped a can of soup into the pot and turned the heat up, kicking Julia's stool into place.

The kid nodded and jumped up, she glanced back to find Maggie, still playing with a light up toy; one she'd managed to find a mute button on. Then started making sandwiches. It was hard to keep track of both of them, but equally difficult to do things on handed and keep Maggie in her arms. And the kid was not fond of being trapped in the playpen or high chair.

With lunch underway she scrambled an egg for the baby and filled Julia's cup with milk and Maggie's bottle with juice; the formula was more of a comfort thing for the little girl. Once she got both kids to the table Maggie had her first meltdown of the morning, she wasn't sure she was going to take Melinda's advice on looking to see if there was a little tooth yet; the baby was touchy about her mouth.

But the pacifier trick worked and lunch was uneventful, she tucked Maggie into her crib for a nap and settled Julia at the table with a combination of numbers and letters that had to be glued to a piece of paper and then printed on the line below. At least for a couple of years she should be able to handle the homework, then she'd have to cheat with her phone; she'd always hated math and geography.

She was pretty sure she knew it better when she was in school than she did now, and since they didn't teach criminal law or street skills in grade school what she was sure of wasn't much help. Still as she settled back to work, in her room now she'd sorted the group by date. She'd handle the older ones first, they were more likely to have evidence that hadn't been tested.

She hoped all she'd find was untested evidence because of the advancement that had been made in the past few years. But she knew otherwise as soon as she settled in to reviewing the 5s, detectives left blanks, obliterated words and wrote sloppily; it was going to be a headache getting through the old cases. Scrubbing a hand over her face she lay out all the paperwork for one case and pulled her own notepad closer.

She took the salient points, witnesses and persons of interests out of the mess and drew the lines of connection. She'd treat it the same was she'd treat an active case with her unit. Using their notes to familiarize herself with the people, as she deciphered them, she added points to each name. There was no confession in this case, the ex had maintained his innocence from start to finish; and the woman had fallen into a coma from her injuries.

Olivia didn't want to look it up to see if she was still alive in the coma state or not, people so rarely woke up she wasn't going there unless she had to. She wasn't pulling out the picture until she had Julia tucked into bed. Even as she worked she was very aware of the little girl working at the kitchen table, Julia had known more than enough pain in her life; she didn't want to scare her with this.

But it was a avenue of the job that made life much easier and would allow her to be home with the girls more. She'd plan the days when she needed to go and revisit leads, and other cops; her friends she felt comfortable enough to invite into her home. And it was handy that with Melinda as chief ME she could check any post she wanted, though having her do it outside of her own discretion might upset her staff; if there were mistakes to be found.

Her friend hadn't handled this case, as the victim's outcome was slightly better, depending on the opinion. There would be many cases that involved a ME and many that simply involved hospital reports, more involving hospital reports that while sad was the better alternative. She found the sheet of paper where the judge had signed off, and the ex boyfriend had gotten life; possibility of parole.

Though with his added charges for resisting arrest and assault on an officer it wasn't likely. Olivia laid out the case, following each report and lead until it closed off; no DNA tested on this one. But to find that evidence, and hope that it was still intact enough, after nearly ten years, to be processed was a shot in the dark; and her job was to determine if it was worth taking.

Her gut said no, they had more than circumstantial evidence, and the guy hadn't made it easier on himself. But she stacked the file back together and clipped her notes to the front; adding a question mark. It was probably clean and likely the man had done the crime but before she shut it she'd check the crime scene photos and evidence logs to see if there were any inconsistencies. She needed to read through it again, and opened the next case. With a system down it started to move faster, and she decided a way to make it move.

She'd write out each case her way, if it was a slam dunk she'd mark it off. If there were holes or it was just circumstantial she'd keep it out. Read them over more carefully and decide whether she needed to start trying to track people down again. She'd have to check and see where the cons were locked up and check their records too, see if they were fighting for their own innocence still; or simply accepted prison life. That could be just as telling.

The soft creak of her door had her slamming her most recent file shut, and spinning to find Julia padding across the room, work sheet in hand. " I'm done."

" Okay lets check it." Just to be safe she redirected the kid to the bed and checked that each number had been glued in the right spot and printed beneath, then that the same had been done for the first part of the alphabet. " That looks pretty good."

"It was easy. Can we make cookies now?" Julia slipped off the bed to check on Maggie, the kid was still asleep.

" Okay, give me a few minutes to check that we have all the stuff okay?" She didn't mind the break anyways, it felt a little dirty to be reviewing other cops; that's what the rat squad was for.

Shooing Julia out of the room she locked the cases away, and went to the kitchen; Julia had vanished into her own room. She found the bag of chocolate chips somebody had stuck in her cart when they were getting groceries. Reading over the ingredients she found she could remember most of them, she'd made the recipe enough times in the past few weeks.

They had the stuff but she added flour to her grocery list for later in the week. Julia had added a picture of a cake at some point, that meant the kid wanted to make a cake; she liked baking. Olivia smiled and added cake mix and icing to the list; she was not going to attempt it from scratch. That was something she'd get Melinda in on, otherwise it would probably end up being flat or burned.

Cookies took just over an hour to make, bake and clean up from. Julia gleefully helped with all three tasks though Olivia sent her to the TV with a cookie when it came time for dishes; last time that had resulted in water all over the kitchen floor. But she smiled as the kid found a show and curled up; she washed all the dishes and set them in the rack to dry.

Taking a cookie for herself she went to see if Maggie was ready to get up. The little girl was standing against the side of the crib, eyes bright and happy. Olivia scooped her up, checked the diaper and took her to the living room for a snack. Then she sat down next to Julia. " I need to do some work."

" I'll watch Maggie." The little girl volunteered eagerly, but that wasn't Olivia's only goal. She wanted Julia to feel welcome in her room, but she wanted the warning to put away anything she was working on.

" I know that, but honey you know I'm a police officer, some of the things I have to look at aren't nice and I don't want you to have to see them. Will you knock on my door if you want to come in?"

" I know about bad stuff."

" I know you do, but I don't want you to have to see anymore." She looked into blue eyes, the girl nibbled the cookie again; Olivia knew she'd probably snagged another.

" That's what Mom's do." Julia nodded quietly, and Olivia felt her throat close up; that was what mother's were supposed to do. " I'll tell you before I come in, especially if I have Maggie."

She was practically ready to cry, Julia was more worried about her sister. " Tell me if you are coming in Julia."

She got a nod and then snagged a cookie for herself, and because she sort of wanted some herself she poured a glass of milk for Julia to have with her cookie; the kid would probably help herself. Then went back to the cases for a couple hours, rereading and deciding the first was likely closed; she stuck a note on her desk just to check the guy's prison record but everything lined up there.

One ear stayed tuned to the living room, keeping track of when the music changed and listening for any signs of Maggie fussing. It was after five when there was a knock on the door, she got up and even as she made it to the doorway; Julia was hovering near the door. She crossed the room quickly, the little girl knew better than to open the door but she had a feeling she knew who it was; and if Julia opened the door for her it was fine.

But the chain was on, she opened the door for Melinda and smiled at her friend. " I just stopped by quick, I wanted to hear how somebody liked school for the first day. And how work was going, but school was more important."

Melinda picked Julia up easily and crossed to the couch, Julia was already giving her the details Olivia had gotten over lunch. Knowing she wouldn't be missed she went to close the cases she'd left on her desk and lock the safe; she'd get back to it after the girls went to bed if she had energy.

Julia was excited to see Melinda, she was pretty much Olivia's best friend and really nice. It had taken her awhile to get used to her, she looked very different than anybody Julia had known before; but then before she met Olivia she hadn't known many people. And none of them were nice all the time, Melinda was and she liked hearing about school stuff.

She was smart too, Olivia had told her she was a doctor and Julia had asked her, Melinda had explained how she was a doctor for people who had died. So that if it had just happened because they were old or they were sick that their family knew why but if somebody had made them dead that anything the person had to tell the police was heard.

She was nice and she had a daughter too, but she was all grown up now; she said someday when she came home for a visit she could meet her. Olivia went back into her room as Melinda sat on the couch with her. She'd started to talk about school but Melinda made a shush noise and put her finger to her lips; watching to see that Olivia was gone. " Can you keep a secret?"

She nodded seriously, she wasn't sure she should keep a secret from Olivia but Melinda was nice so it probably wasn't anything bad. " Maybe."

" Well I need more than maybe if I'm going to tell you about a surprise for Olivia."

" A good one?" Melinda nodded. " I won't tell."

" Well her birthday is in four days, that's Saturday; the day after school is done. And I think she'd like to celebrate it with you. But the guys from her unit want to take her out the night before. So I'm going to come and stay with you and we are going to make her a surprise cake for you and Maggie to share with her."

" How old with she be?"

" 45, now she can't know."

" I won't tell." Olivia was older than she'd thought, but that was okay.


	24. Chapter 24

She was excited, Melinda was coming over soon to stay with her and Maggie while Olivia went out. She knew Olivia was happy to be going out with her friends from work. She was sitting on the couch and Olivia came out of her bed room, she was wearing black jeans and a blue tank top; buttoning something pretty and flowy over it.

" You look pretty." She smiled and pulled Maggie back into her lap as her sister reached for Olivia.

" Thanks sweetie, look you can stay up a little later tonight with Melinda but I want you in bed by the time I get home okay."

She nodded as Olivia put on her jacket and there was a knock on the door. Olivia opened it and Melinda walked in, and they talked for a little bit. She got off the couch and pulled Maggie with her, Maggie was starting to get heavier; Olivia said it was good. Melinda reach down and pulled Maggie up and ran a hand through her hair. " Hey trouble."

" Hi." She smiled, it was hard not to look really excited; it was also hard not to tell Olivia she knew about her birthday. She hadn't said why she was going out tonight or even anything about her birthday.

" I'll be back before too long, just don't let her stay up for me."

" Relax Olivia." Melinda had a nice laugh, she smiled a lot; and Julia was happy that she was shooing Olivia out the door. " Chat with the guys and have a good time. Julia, Maggie and I will be fine."

Olivia made a face and then left. Julia grinned and Melinda took Maggie to the couch. " Go get your coat."

" Why?"

" Because we are going to get some pizza and the stuff for a cake." Melinda smiled at her and Julia ran to get her coat, when she came back Maggie had her coat on and Melinda was by the door.

They took Melinda's car to another part of town and got pizza at a place where a guy stood behind the counter and threw it. Then they went to a store and Melinda got all kinds of stuff. " Why do we need that?"

" Icing. What colors do you want?"

" Colors?"

"Mhm, we can do one color for the cake and maybe two for the writing. Should we put a flower on it?"Melinda was putting more stuff in the cart.

She walked along side when they stopped in front of all the fruit stuff. Melinda put some more stuff in the cart and then turned to her and turned her around and set her on the end of the cart. " Hold on Julia."

Melinda pushed the cart and she rode as they went to an aisle with a whole bunch of boxes with cakes on them. They went right by them and Melinda picked up a few things. " Colors."

" Blue and orange." They stopped in front of stuff, there were colorful candles and numbers.

" What color candles, get a four and a five." She took both blue, Melinda put a bunch of tiny bottles in them; red blue and yellow.

" Why do we need red and yellow?"

" If you mix red and yellow together you'll get orange." Melinda smiled at her and she had to grab on as the cart started moving again. " I think we've got just about everything. We only need some candies."

" Candies?"

" To put on the cake." Melinda took a little jar of something out of Maggie's hand and put it back on the shelf. " Do you want to pick them out?"

They were boxes with all kinds of candies in them, she got little bears and some chocolate things. They stopped for one last thing and Julia looked an nodded seriously when Melinda told her it was a treat for the next morning. Melinda paid for the stuff and then they went back to the apartment. They left their coats on the end of the couch and Melinda pushed her stool up the kitchen island.

She watched as stuff was measured and put in, dry stuff and eggs, water and wet stuff. "Now you can stir it all together."

It wasn't like cookie dough, runnier and darker; she knew Olivia liked chocolate stuff. Melinda added some more stuff but it was still wet when she said it was ready and poured it into two pans and put them in the oven. She got all the bowls and spoons and put them in the sink; Olivia did baking dishes by hand.

" Where do you think you're going?" Melinda had her hands in the soapy water.

" Olivia doesn't have me wash dishes, I'll dry them if you want."

" Nope, you don't dry dishes cuz you're short and if I hand them down you'll drip water all over the floor almost as bad as if I let you wash. We still have to make the icing." Melinda dried the bowl and set it back on the counter.

She got back up and Melinda made her stir stuff for a long time it got white and fluffy. Melinda divided it into three smaller bowls, a little bit of went into two bowls and most of it stayed in the big one. " Red and yellow in one and blue in the other. Just a few drops."

She squeezed the bottle a little and Melinda put the other color in. Then she stirred them again and one bowl went orange and the one Melinda did went blue. " Now these go in the fridge and we'll wait for the cakes to cool."

" Why'd we make two cakes?"

" We're going to stack them together, and put some filling and strawberries between them. I'm going to cut up some more chocolate and the strawberries. You can play for a little while when the cakes are cool we'll decorate them. Maybe you would make Olivia a card."

" I already did. I'll get it." She went to her room and took the card she'd made out from under her toy box. She'd drawn a picture of Olivia holding Maggie on the front and written happy birthday on the inside; Ms Cass had helped her.

She showed it to Melinda and the woman stopped for a moment to look at the card. " Very nice. That will be something Olivia keeps a long time."

She shared a grin with Olivia's friend, she really hoped Olivia would like the card. She'd written Mom rather than Olivia on the inside, Melinda told her it was okay but Olivia hadn't said anything about it. " Olivia hasn't said anything about her birthday."

Melinda smiled at the little girl, Julia had put her card back in a safe place and returned to sit on the chair across from her. " Olivia isn't going to make a big deal out of her birthday unless somebody does it for her; that's what your good for."

The little girl nodded at her and kept watching as she got strawberries and chocolate ready; at least she knew what Olivia's favorite cake was. She'd leave it in the fridge, the guys had offered to take Olivia out partially because it had been a long time since she'd been out with them but more because they'd been told.

Melinda worked with a lot of cops, but the Manhattan SVU was different, she knew each of them and respected them; they were all good cops. The two rookies were still learning but Fin, Munch and Olivia were solid; they did their job to the best of their abilities. She knew them more than she knew many of the other detectives, the ME was not important to them; facts for their work.

There was some division in the team over the past case, and probably would be for a while. A rookie overstepped before he earned the trust of his team; the team would stand with the veteran cop and partner. She understood the politics that went on within the unit, watched a version of them in her own office as interns and deputy coroners found their places.

She pulled the cakes out and set them to cool, Julia watched silently. Letting the kid investigate the cake for a moment before she tucked them in the fridge to cool faster. Both girls were sweet, she picked Maggie up and gave her a bottle, getting the little one ready for bed. Julia went into her room and came back out in her pjs as Melinda tucked Maggie into her crib.

" Come sit here Julia. We'll find a movie to watch." She took the one she brought in her purse and put it in the DVD player. They watched half of Snow White before getting up to decorate the cake.

Melinda let the kid have free rein on decorations, and then covered it and tucked it in the back of the fridge behind stuff. It was a bad spot but the cake needed to stay cold and hopefully if Olivia was tired and slightly drunk she wouldn't look very hard. She tucked Julia into bed and settled down to read for a bit.

It was nice to look after the girls, it had been a long time since her own daughter had needed or wanted to be tucked in at night; it was a nice thing. Especially after a day at work, sometimes there was so much bad in the world it was hard to see the good. Melinda waited for Olivia to get back, she was just a little tipsy and went to bed happily.

She knew Olivia wasn't the type to get drunk, especially not when she'd have to get up with the girls in the morning; but she'd also had a long week. And hopefully she'd fall into bed, both girls were comfortable and would stay that way. Melinda went home and found her own house just a little to quiet, but she was happy for her friend all the same; Olivia had lived the job long enough.


	25. Chapter 25

Olivia woke blearily to the bed moving and someone jumping on her. She hadn't drank enough last night to be hung over but she had been in a deep sleep and it was early; it was Saturday. With a groan she hauled Julia out from under her blankets. " Good morning munchkin."

"Happy birthday." A piece of paper was stuffed in her face. There was a drawing on the front and when she opened it her throat closed. Julia had signed the card, and written the greeting carefully.

" Thank you sweetheart, who told you it was my birthday?" Her mind was clearing quickly but Julia was snuggled against her contentedly.

Julia shook her head, and Olivia took a guess. "Melinda?"

"Maybe." The little girl grinned in a clear tell. "I made a surprise for you."

"Okay, lets get up Julia. I need a shower, can you play quietly? Maggie's still asleep." Olivia pushed herself up to sit and Julia bounced back, nodding and disappearing into the living room.

She stepped under the hot spray and let the tension slip away. Letting the hot water wake her up then she stepped out and toweled off. Slipping into jeans and an t-shirt as she heard a crash in the kitchen, closing her eyes for a moment she left the bathroom and glanced at the crib; empty. "Julia, hon I asked you to play quietly."

"I know." Julia called cheerfully as Olivia stepped out into the kitchen.

Julia's stool was tipped over but Maggie was in her highchair and something was on the table. She stepped around it to get a better look. "Happy Birthday Mom."

"Julia." Her voice caught in her throat, the cake sat in the middle of the table; she hugged the little girl to her side.

"We can't have cake for breakfast, Melinda and your friends are coming over later." Julia's hands dug into her side and then her shoulder; and seated herself on her hip. " We should make pancakes, there's chocolate left and Melinda got mix last night."

"She did, did she? I guess she knows how to do birthdays right?" Olivia smiled, thinking this morning was very good.

"Uhuh, she said if we mash some up Maggie can have some too."

"She'd know." Olivia couldn't remember the last time she'd actually made pancakes.

"Pancakes." Julia grinned and curled against her shoulder.

Olivia laughed and set the little girl down to get the mix bowl. " You have to stir."

The back of the pack came with instructions and that made breakfast a lot easier. Olivia got Julia in the bath tub and Maggie in the sink for both their baths and tried not to think about how attached two little lives were to her own. She hated her birthday, it was only a reminder of the fact she was getting older and she did the math in her head; Julia turned twenty she be nearing sixty. Depressing but a reminder that she had to make a fuss over birthdays; just bad luck hers had come up first.

It was a little tempting to go work on the cases rather than watch cartoons with the girls but she managed to resist for a bit and then talked Julia into a trip to the park. Texting Melinda to find out exactly when they intended to stop by; she'd hung out with her unit the night before. She hoped Melinda hadn't invited many more people.

Within the next few hours her home had filled with people, everyone from the unit, two of their previous ADAs, Elizabeth Donelly and a few other friends. It was a busy blur, keeping track of Maggie being passed around and set on the floor to play with people and Julia curled up next to Fin on the end of the couch.

Her coworkers were entertaining the child with a game Munch had informed her was the only birthday gift she'd be getting. Mousetrap was keeping Julia entertained, the point of the game was to get the cheese and Julia delighted as much as getting her piece caught in the traps as trying to get to the end. Maureen, who had come with her father had joined the game and whenever Julia's peice got caught in a trap the young woman caught the little girl's foot and tickled her till the kid squealed.

Cake was cut and shared, Olivia watched as Melinda held Maggie and carefully fed her tiny bites of her own cake naturally. She wished she could handle the girls with that ease, she was getting better but it was difficult. Both girls had different personalities and needs, she wanted to be able to adapt between the two confidently but so much of it was feeling out what each girl wanted; or guessing.

She was leaning against the counter when Elizabeth sidled up beside her; they both watched the girls. Julia was done with her cake and raced over with her plate so she could get back to her game. Olivia took the plate and watched the game resume, Munch and Fin playing between bites; her Captain looking on from the other end of the couch.

Her ex partner stood between the two rookies, she couldn't hear what they were talking about but she noticed that he glanced at his own daughter regularly even though she was grown. Watching your child wasn't something that ever stopped, it just took practice to know what to do; she'd watched Elliot learn and make mistakes.

"You know you're doing fine." Elizabeth spoke beside her, the judge had probably been studying her as she'd watched the room. " They're called maternal instincts and you've always had them; for those girls they're strong."

She smiled a little bit. " Doesn't mean I won't screw up."

" You watching Warner? Just stop, she's raised her own already and she's a doctor; done the whole kid psychology bid. They have to take so much of it no matter what they go into. Trust your instincts, you know they're good; served you well on the street. They'll serve you in your family too."

" She called me Mom this morning, she's always called me Olivia before."

" And its the best birthday present you'll ever get."

Watching the little girl she nodded, it was. It truly was the best thing to know that the little girl could put her in a position of trust; even after someone who should have valued that place had used it to hurt her. Olivia just smiled, watching the girl play and the smaller one cuddle with her friend. Mom was the only title Maggie would learn, and somehow that mattered just as much as Julia deciding to call her.


	26. Epilogue

Epilogue

_2 Years Late_r

Olivia walked down from the car towards the school, Julia was still in the same school they'd enrolled in shortly after the girls had moved in with her. Maggie walked beside her, now starting the second grade Julia was still as taken with her little sister as she had been when acting as her mother. And Maggie liked picking her sister up from school, while the younger one couldn't possibly remember the first part of her life she seemed to know her big sister had been her protector.

Anything Julia was doing Maggie was going to try it and big sister had no problem with that and seemed to enjoy showing off her younger sister. They would enroll Maggie in school next year, she'd turn four in the spring and start JKSK in the fall; this year she'd ended up getting the younger one some school supplies.

They'd moved from the apartment to a single story brownstone where there was more than enough space for all of them and Olivia had an office she could lock and the girls had the downstairs as a playroom; it worked better all around.

But walking to school was not an option anymore and switching was not really either. Julia had made friends and liked her classmates; there was no point in upsetting her balance. It had been a busy summer now that Julia's place was the best for sleepovers and she had cases to review as well as try to give Julia a little bit of space from her sister with friends in the house.

She'd been smart enough to refuse the class pet for the summer as they had invested in a cat of their own; it had been a strategic pick on her part. No member of the rodent family would really want to live in their house now that Mitts had free reign. The tiny little black kitten Julia had picked to bring home from the animal shelter had grown into a large fluffy and territorial cat who considered the girls her property and Olivia's desk her bed.

They waited outside the school for Julia and the other girl coming over right after school, the third of the little posse had to go home first before coming for the sleepover. Maggie was looking forward to a night sleeping in her room because the adjoined room that had been home to the bunk beds that had originally been Julia's would be taken over with the three seven year olds celebrating the first week of grade two.

Scooping Maggie onto her hip she stood to the side where Julia usually looked for her, and away from some of the other parents. Grade two was the year that the two grade one classes merged into a larger group and parents like kids still very much stayed within the groups they had gotten used to.

The last bell went and she knew it would probably be a few more minutes as there were important things for seven year olds to coordinate for their play times; she'd learned that when the little group first bonded back in kindergarten. Now that Julia was older and far more settled into their little family she was much more ready to tell her what she wanted to do.

She'd learned a lot from the little girl, not only about her likes and dislikes but understanding how her mind worked. She'd taken some courses in dealing with kids and child victims but living with one who had overcome it changed her views and gave new insights. Olivia had put the skills to the test several times, returning to work with her old unit on the necessary shifts.

She let Maggie down to play with some other young kids waiting for older siblings. This week had been a bit more stressful, the appeal for the Dysvolns case had been in court and of course gotten some screen time. So far she hadn't heard anything about it from anyone near Julia.

But she wasn't naive enough to think it wouldn't be around her, parents would talk about it and other kids would likely say something. She had kept herself up on what was in the paper, and Elizabeth Donnelly kept her updated on what was happening in the courts; the real view not the media spin.

Kids started spilling out of the front doors, older kids happy to be free from the first week back and younger ones excited to tell their parents what had happened during the day. Julia and her friends didn't turn up and Olivia felt herself tense as the rest of her class appeared with the exception of one boy.

She knew the boy, and his mother more as she'd been the only person to ever question her on why she'd adopted the girls. Maggie's playmates disappeared and she saw Kali's mother come out her daughter beside her; the little girl had been crying. Kali was supposed to be sleeping over, coming later as she had to go home first.

Jess, Kali's mother glanced at her and then stopped in front of her. " Have you spoke to the principal yet?"

"No." She swallowed hard, she could do the math, Julia and Rachel weren't out but the other girl's mother had brought a note in to let Olivia take the girl home. As far as she knew Julia had never had a problem with the boy, Olivia had handled his mother diplomatically; trying to avoid conflict involving the kids.

"There was an incident today, last recess. I don't believe Julia is in trouble but I'm surprised you didn't get called."

"You did?"

"No, I just got here early, look I'll let you talk to the principal, I don't know if you'll feel like having the kids tonight; let me know."

She nodded, almost wishing she hadn't talked to Jess Olivia found herself falling back on training to keep a neutral face. She would find out what had happened before she made any judgments Jess started to move away and then stopped and touched her hand. " I'm sorry."

Olivia pulled away, not waiting to find out if she was supposed to be summoned she went into the school directly to the office. The seretary glanced at her as she took a seat and a moment later the principal came out and explained it to her.

Julia had gotten in on a fight, and her little girl had gotten hurt but stood up for her friend. Feeling a little frazzled she was relieved when the teacher offered to take Maggie while she walked with the principal to the nurse's office. She worried that the fight had something to do with the appeal but it was unrelated to Julia at all; she understood Jess's apology.

Jess was recently divorced and had moved in with her girlfriend, apparently the boy had made some comments and Julia had told him that anybody could be a family. The return statement had resulted in a scuffle when her friend had tried to hurt the boy; Julia ended up in the middle of the two.

Her kid was the only one hurt, and somehow no one was really concerned with Julia being hurt but more with what she'd said. It had made the boy cry and brought Kali back to what had happened. Kali was upset because she'd ended up getting her friend hurt and the boy was upset because of what Julia had said.

She was ushered into the nurse station to find Julia and Rachel sitting on a cot beside the boy; all three had suckers. Julia had left a neglected ice pack where she had probably been told to sit on the other side of the room. Olivia crossed to her and held out her arms; the seven year old wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck.

"Can I take her home?"

"I'd like to have Travis tell you about his punishment." The woman paused and Olivia looked to the boy; the principal continued. "Also I think her statement needs to be addressed."

Olivia looked at the principal, the woman wasn't the one who had been here when Julia enrolled just over two years ago. " Did you pull her file?"

" Yes, but really..."

"Read it." She turned back to Travis; she knew the law well enough to know her way out. "Have you talked to your mom yet?"

The miserable boy shook his head and she let him off the hook; it looked like the lesson had been learned. "I won't speak to him until he has spoken to his parent and they are present. Does Julia need to speak to his guardian?"

"No, Julia was not an aggressor, she got in the middle to break it up. I can assure you that there won't be any consequences for her." The principal seemed at a loss as Rachel moved to her and wrapped both arms around her knee; Travis looked like he wanted to do the same just to hide from this.

"Then I'm taking her home and next time I'd like to be notified if she is hurt."

"It just happened, we've been trying to sort out what happened."

Olivia nodded and stepped into the hall, Maggie had apparently been passed to Julia's first teacher who met her partway down the hall. Maggie was unconcerned but happy to see her sister. She knew Miss Cass better than the principal and the grade two teacher. "Did you hear what happened?"

"I saw it, its a case of the child being influenced by the parents. Julia has always been a protector and what she said; I wouldn't be concerned by it." The woman smiled at Julia who had squirmed down, being tough for her sister; Maggie happily climbed up. " Are you okay Julia?"

"I'm fine." Julia smiled up at them as the puzzled over her, Olivia could tell that a bruise would bloom on that cheek soon.

"I think that is what you should take, don't worry about the principal. This is her first school and she didn't teach in the city much before she got posted; this is her first week. I doubt she's read Julia's file or put the connection together about the past; no one here talks about it anymore." The teacher tucked a few free strands of Julia's hair behind her ear.

" Okay. Then I think we'll take this as a learning experience and leave it there." Olivia nodded, knowing that was mostly true but some people did make the connection even though Julia now had her last name.

They left the school and Olivia let the issue rest until she had Julia alone, Maggie and Rachel were playing in the other room and she sat Julia on her bed. " Now you can tell me what happened."

" Travis said mean things about Kali's mom and I told him he couldn't say stuff like that because they were a family and it didn't matter what he thought and he said she couldn't be a real mom if she didn't give Kali a dad. I said I only had a mom and only needed a mom." Julia looked at her with big blue eyes, the right side of her face starting to show the bruise.

" Then he said you can't have a kid with no man and Kali's dad left and Kali's other mom takes care of her and stuff and she got mad. So she tried to hit him but I didn't want her to hit him cuz he'd be mean to her forever if she hit him and I don't care if she hits me cuz she was mad. And she really didn't hit me but he did and we kinda fell when she didn't stop."

Julia stopped as if finished, and looked at her expectantly; Olivia knew she was hoping to get out of something. And so far she hadn't heard anything in the conversation to alarm a new principal or make a little boy cry. "And?"

" I maybe told him my old daddy hurt me more than he ever could and well..." Julia trailed off and Olivia waited; the little brat had done something to teach the boy a lesson. " Kali was trying to get up and she kinda pushed my shirt up and you know. He maybe saw but I got up fast and told him a real boy doesn't hit a girl. Then teachers were there."

Olivia saw where the principal got upset, especially if she didn't know Julia's background. "What did the principal want Travis to tell me?"

"He told me he was sorry and he is going to write me a letter saying that and he has to skip recess all next week. I dunno what he had to tell you. Kali can still come over right?" Julia finally looked worried, and Olivia let it go.

"That's going to be Kali's mom's decision. Julia I don't want you getting into fights, I don't want to hear about you getting in the middle of stuff again okay?"

" No." Olivia looked at her sharply, but Julia continued. "I won't pick any fights but I'm not going to watch and let Kali or Rachel get hurt."

"Honey, try and stay out of it."

Julia stood up and put her hands on Olivia's shoulders. "It's because of my old family isn't it? You're my family and I know that mom, but I'm okay and you said I need to talk about it. I know you won't hurt me and I can talk about it, I know it really bad and I know it can get better."

"Melinda said if I want to talk about it with kids than I should because there are other kids who might still be getting hurt by their parents. And kids at school need to know that they can still be normal after. She said she'd talk to you about it because your friends want to do something with the school thing."

And Olivia knew that was true, she just hadn't thought about it going anywhere; Melinda had talked to her it before going to Julia. Now was not the time to discuss that but she was glad Julia could finally talk openly about it. "You know you shouldn't have said that to upset him?"

"I didn't want to upset him but if he wants to be mean he should know not to do it about families. And he said he won't be mean to Kali again."

" We are going to talk about this again later but I want you to have a good time tonight with your friends; I'll find out if Kali can come."

Julia wrapped her arms around her and Olivia held the girl for a moment, her little girl was kind and well meaning but she knew the rougher side of the world and that was something she always had to remember. In truth she was proud of her little girl, for standing up for her friends and accepting that they could be a family.

She was pretty happy with her little family and the support network she'd found in her friends. Her old unit were family to her girls, as were the chief coroner and a judge, they made a strange family but they worked. And she was content, and confident in the fact that now that she'd seen Julia through a few phases she could see Maggie through them too; she could handled this but not on her own.

With experience under her belt Olivia balanced school, work, her friends and the girl's friends along with activities more at home in her world than she ever had been. And watching the kids play in the living room of a home she'd never dreamed of she knew it was worth it. Two little girls had a chance of growing up with a childhood worse than her own and while she couldn't under her own past she was giving a couple the best she could; and that was enough.

_The End_


End file.
